A Little Lost In The Wrong Part of Amsterdam

Lost

I freely call myself an accident prone man. I am comfortable with doing so because it is something that gives me a lot of funny stories to write about. Lately I have been a lot less accident prone but I still got a chance to live up to my blogs reputation this week when I met fellow blogger <a “target=”_blank” href=”http://blondebutbright.blogspot.com/”>Blonde but Bright.

We had arranged to meet at a bar for a few drinks along with another of her friends but I was having trouble finding the place. After some unsuccessful searching I decided to give BBB a call.

Me: “Hi. It’s Stuart. I’m near the cinema but I’m not sure where this bar is.”

BBB: “Ok. What tram stop are you near?”

Me: “Er… None I think. I don’t know this area too well.”

I’d only ever been there to go to the cinema.

BBB: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah.”

BBB: “Do you know The Heineken brewery? It’s right near there.”

All I could see was the Heineken Music Hall but I didn’t think they would be hiding a distillery behind the bar where any drunken customer could get to it and drink them into bankruptcy.

Me: “Umm. I don’t really know where that is either.”

I suddenly felt like I could not truly call myself English because of my lack of beer related landmarks.

BBB: “Really?”

It sounded like she could not believe I was English anymore either.

BBB: “It’s South of the flower market.”

Me: “Flower market? They have one of those here?”

I knew of a flower market but that was a few miles away.

BBB: “Yes. It’s near the big clock tower.”

I knew of a big clock tower as well but that was also a few miles away near that flower market. Slowly realization started to dawn on me…

Me: “Oh… wait.”

… and then I suddenly knew what I had done.

Me: “You’re in Amsterdam aren’t you?”

BBB: “Yes.”

As soon as my brain reorganized the landmarks into their correct setting I knew exactly where the place was. It was in a part of Amsterdam that was very hard to mistake for any where else and I wasn’t even in Amsterdam. I had got the address wrong by a few miles. Another train journey later and the charming Blonde but Bright got to meet Ginger but Dim.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

7 Responses

  1. ChickyBabe says:

    That’s so cute! I often wondered if you two knew one other :).

  2. Tess says:

    Geez, that’s quite a long trip to make from one end to the other [by metro and tram I reckon?]; hilarious! Call me silly but I have a map on me whenever I go out, or a TomTom… :9

  3. marycub says:

    tsk never been to the heineke brewery? you get a free glass and everything! bet you’ve been to the sex museum right??

  4. BlondebutBright says:

    Isn’t it funny how as soon as you take the “offline meeting” step, everybody assumes – well, what they’re assuming? It’s a blogger drama…

  5. tenakalaz says:

    Oh what a nosy bunch, actually Stu and BbB eloped and have not been seen since.

    I have been secretly employed to post for them, whilst they email me from their love shack in Mexico.

    But they asked me to keep it quiet so if you all wouldn’t say anything.

  6. Invader_Stu says:

    Marycub – My English friends made me go

    BlondebutBright – Dam. Now they know. We’ll have to flee to another country my love (I really am joking everyone)

  7. Tash says:

    Well hey then I just might add one more. XD Awsome story, me being still young and all it makes me look forward to the many misadventures possible in my life. Its good though that this misadventure turned out wonderfuly for you.

    “Actually, that could be a very disturbing cartoon I draw one day for this blog :p”

    Its nice to see your aspiring to something great.

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