An Ode to Holland

A Poem About The Netherlands
By Stuart B

Holland is a country without mountains, hills or even a slight bevel,
That’s quite alarming when you consider everything is below sea level.

The terrain is large, flat and rather featureless you see,
That’s what happens when most of it is reclaimed from the sea.

But never underestimate its importance in the euro zone,
After all it’s where all the most beautiful tulips are grown.

Oh… And calling it Holland can make the locals quite stressed,
It’s The Netherlands. Not just that province to the West.

Tourists often come for a weekend full of booze,
But leave with a pair of souvenir wooden shoes.

The drugs here are legal and can provide a lot of thrills,
But is there really anything better than visiting one of the many windmills?

During the winter the climate can be cold and rather freezing,
But the Dutch do not mind, they find this rather pleasing.

In fact the Dutch spend the whole summer waiting,
For the winter, Elfstedentocht and a chance of ice skating.

I like living in Holland. I think it is very pleasant and rather nice,
Even considering Amsterdam is overrun and controlled by mice.

But never forget that the country is completely flat,
And if the dykes ever break we’ll all get een beetje nat!