Zombies

– Friday – 3:55am – 5 hours after the incident:
No one really knows how it started. All they can do is unimaginatively suggest scenarios from late night horror movies they have seen. “Maybe it’s a virus like in that movie based on that computer game,” or, “It’s a curse just like that movie starring Bruce Campbell,” they say.

But the truth is it does not really matter how it started. We only have enough food to last three more days and the looks of mistrust have already started. It won’t take long for that mistrust to turn into something much worse but that does not matter either. Our improvised barricade will fail long before that happens.

I don’t know how bad the outside situation is. Maybe they have already spread across Holland or even the whole of Europe. Either way there is only one thing left that I can do. It’s time to gather whatever weapons I can find, go outside and take down as many of the zombie scum with me as I can…

That or I could just turn off the games console and go to bed.

– Friday – 3:55am – 5 hours past my bed time:
I might have spent a little too much time playing the zombie slaying game Dead Rising this weekend. On Friday night alone I was laying waist to the undead until 4am which left me feeling very tired and zombie like myself for most of the Saturday and Sunday. It also caused me to have some very strange zombie themed dreams. If I had carried on playing my sleep deprived brain might have blurred fantasy with reality, causing me to board up all of the windows and start shouting questions of, “Have you been bitten?!” at my house mate.

If there really was a zombie scenario in Amsterdam I don’t think anyone would realize for a while. For the first few hours it would simply seem like an influx of stoned tourists who have spent too much time in the local coffee shops. However, when the stoner’s ‘attack of the munchies’ takes on a scary new meaning panic would set in as the population realize what is happening.

At this point the government would put into effect an emergency plan to systematically destroy the bridges around the city. The spider web pattern of the canals would make it possible to isolate areas and at the very least slow down the infection. However if anything was to be the cause of a zombie invasion in Holland I bet it would be the canal water.

With the bridges destroyed the few survivors left would live on islands of what was once Amsterdam (who knows if the man trapped on the newly formed Red Light Island would be happy or not). Life for the non-Dutch survivors would not be easy. All the remaining food supplies would be covered in mayonnaise or pinda (peanut) sauce and Dutch music would be played to lift people’s spirits. At that point I think I would swim back across the canal and take my chances with the zombies if they have not already been scared away by the Dutch music as well.