Warning Signs That You Are Becoming Dutch
Spend any amount of time in Holland and you are bound to pick up a few habits from the locals. It’s good to become integrated but here are a few warning signs to look out for that might mean you are becoming Dutch.
You Might Be Becoming Dutch If…
(Part 1)
1) You no longer freak out when someone reminds you that the entire country is below sea level.
2) You’ve forgotten what hills and mountains look like.
3) You’ve discovered a way of using the friendly greeting ‘hello’ as a sarcastic insult.
4) You’ve developed a natural instinct to sit in a circle at any party or social gathering that you are invited to.
5) You’ve continued to ride the same bike for the past two years despite the rather unhealthy and painful squeaking sound it has developed (which causes nearby pedestrians to bleed from their ears).
6) You’ve shouted at tourists while cycling past on a bike.
7) You’ve ‘pimped’ your bike with fake flowers.
8) You own either; a large pair of novelty orange glasses, a large novelty orange inflatable crown, a orange feather bower and/or a pair of orange dungarees that you wear at any other event that requires a display of Dutch pride (Queens Day, Football matches, etc).
9) You’ve developed an unhealthy obsession with mixing random vegetables with mashed potato.
10) You actually understood the above joke.
11) You now consider mayonnaise its own food group.
12) You think standing on the fragile ice over the city’s polluted (and often peed in) canals in large numbers is a good idea
13) You get excited about ‘Pepernoten Season’.
14) You now say “half a year” instead of “six months”.
15) You’ve eaten raw herring without it being part of a bet you lost.
16) You’ve stuck up for Sinterklaas in the annual Sinterklaas vs. Santa argument (and Zwarte Piet has started to seem less offensive).
17) You’ve considered red trousers a ‘fashionable option’.
For more warning signs that you might be becoming Dutch check out part 2.
I’m resisting on the herring and the kring; but if you say yes to all of them does that mean it’s time to leave?
Haha, it is so funny to get the foreigners perspective. I must admit, the Dutch have a couple of Quirks!
Louise – It means it is too late :p
Amsterdam Tour – So do we English :)
So, do you like becoming dutch? Noting wrong with it i assume?
I’m dutch, and I don’t recognize some of ’em ;)
Guess that’s because I’m from Limburg =D
When you realise you can NEVER become Dutch, you’re on the way to understanding them a little better.
Also, you are becoming Dutch when you actually see the difference between regions manners.
Been stuck out in the eastern boondocks of the Netherlands for since 2000, and yeah I get this. Managed to avoid the red trews though…
Oh priceless. I’ve dated a Dutchie for over a year, and he asked for mayo on the Swedish meatballs I cooked for him!! AND mashed the potatoes.
I look forward to my coming move tho the low countries and getting better aqainted with all of the above. It is after all only half a year to Pepernoten Season. ;-)
To be really integrated you must fit your car with a towing hook, purchase a huge caravan and travel each summer via B-roads (because you don’t want to pay motorway tolls and prefer to hold up all other traffic) to a camping in Southern France with your caravan scraping the ground because it is FULLY laden with food (such as little specks of chocolate to put on your slices of white bread in the morning) for the entire month. On the rare occasion when you do go for a meal in a restaurant, you go Dutch, i.e. each pays exactly for what he/she ate rather than dividing the entire bill by the number of participants as all other people would.
The adage of the word “whore” to either Ja whore or Nee whore. You’ll get used to this.
Ja hoor. btw, did you already figure out what it means?
I never thought about the fact that we do use ‘hello’ as an insult occasionally and how weird that is.
Marrying me (dutch girl) must have pushed my hubby ( his parents are dutch) over the edge, he often wears red pants, it is a source of great teasing by our Aussie, born and raised kids! LOL
Hehe. that is a very Dutch thing to do.