Warning Signs That You Are Becoming English
Previously I shared a few of the warning signs for expats to look out for if they think they are starting to become Dutch. But what about the Dutch themselves? Could they also be influenced by all of us English expats moving into their country? Do you think you might be becoming English? It’s very possible. Here are a few early warning signs that might indicate you are starting to become English.
You Might Be Becoming English If…
1) When a disaster strikes, no matter how devastating or terrifying it might be, your first instinct is to ‘put the kettle on’ as a means of putting things in to perspective. Even the apocalypse will seem easier to deal with once you have had a nice cup of tea (including milk and sugar).
2) Saying the word ‘sorry’ becomes an uncontrollable, automatic and involuntary reaction to everything, including things that have not actually happened yet, things that might not even happen and things that you are in no way responsible for at all. In extreme cases you will even apologise for apologising too much.
3) Your manner of speaking becomes similar to that of a Victorian villain in an American movie.
4) You suddenly realize you know the rules to cricket.
5) You become compelled to drive on the left hand side of the road (a real problem if you are on a Dutch highway at the time).
6) You start requesting ketchup instead of mayonnaise with your friet. In extreme cases you will be very specific that it must be HP ketchup.
7) In addition you start to refer to friet as chips and will be disappointed if they are not soggy.
8) You become confused by the Euro.
9) You measure how well you are doing in life by comparing your happiness to that of the average Eastenders character.
10) You consider Baked Beans on toast a ‘treat’ and know what Egg and Soldiers are.
11) You’ve written a letter of complaint at some point in your life.
12) You consider queuing a hobby.
13) You become frustrated by the American spelling of the word ‘colour’ and ‘favourite’.
Think you might be becoming Dutch? Check out the list of Warning Signs That You Are Becoming Dutch.
I will on my year here convert my international flat mates to English ways. They seem to find beans on toast a strange concept.
They also laugh at me calling chips chips.
Firewood – To you check the warning signs of become Dutch list to be sure? :p
Andrew – Yes. Turn them to our ways. They will join us and make our numbers strong.
1 1/2 out of 14; I do like French mayonnaise with my fries and I do have a preference for soggy ones. Obviously, I still refer to “chips” as fries.
As for the American spelling of certain words, now that I am teaching English to French students, I make an effort to use the British spellings as the exams here have a tendency to use British English.
So, while I still call “chips” as “fries,” don’t be surprised if I replace the S with a Z (pronounced as “zed”) in certain verbs and add the extra U to “color” and “favorite.” :P
Barb the French Bean – Hmmmm. That is a low score. You might not be turning English or Dutch but what would the warning signs of turning French list be? :p
HP Sauce?
Have you been out of Britain too long or bumped your head recently?!
Heinz!