The Warrior’s Code – Ten Ways To Deal With Mosquito Attacks
The warrior is always ready for battle when the summer months descend upon him. The warrior is strong. The warrior is brave. The warrior is noble. The warrior knows his enemy. And above all else the warrior lives by the code:
Ten Ways To Deal With Mosquito Attacks
1) The warrior will dedicate ten minutes of every night to standing on the bed in his underwear so he might hunt the enemy before he rests his head upon his pillow.
2) The warrior will smite the enemy wherever they are found; on the curtain, by the light fitting, on Mr Fluffykins the bear, on his own face.
3) The warrior is highly skilled with all weapons of combat; the rolled up news paper, the sock, the opened hand, the deodorant plus lighter.
4) The warrior will not raise his hand in anger against innocent bugs of the non-blood sucking kind. Especially the noble spider who is his ally against the true enemy (and technically an arachnid, not a bug).
5) The warrior will sleep lightly, with one ear opening, listening for the buzz of the enemy, ready to swat at the air.
6) The warrior will protect his woman by producing higher amounts of carbon dioxide, octenol and other compounds that attract the enemies’ bites.
7) The warrior will protect himself with the armor of battle; the pillow over the head.
8) The warrior will curse the name of the enemy with his every breath.
9) The warrior will treats his itchy red wounds of battle the next morning with soothing cream.
10) The warrior will wear his itchy red wounds of battle with pride and compare the amount and locations with other warriors when telling tales of heroism.
And above all else; The warrior will not scratch… He never scratches.
I’m one of the fortunate ones that doesn’t attract mosquitoes, but I’m now sympathetically itchy after reading about your brave battles. Maybe this cold snap will kill them off again.
The warrior will install screens over the windows?
Alison – I’m hoping so to. I don’t know if I will live through another summer like last summer.
Dan – It is a fine plan.
hehe… we have fought so many wars back home, here it feels like retired warrior… last few years have been war free ;)
Touch wood :o)
Lopa – I don’t think I would survive your home town in that case. They are already driving me nuts here.
I feel your pain, trust me. I’m allergic to all kinds of bugbites, meaning normal mosquitoes give me huge bumps and it itches like hell. Woe is me etc. I’m no warrior though, more a killer of convenience. :P
You will scratch, you know you will.
It’s like putting a fruit pastille in your mouth an not chewing.
Must…. scratch….. can.. not….. resist…..!…… aaaahhhhhhhhh
Try putting Vicks Vaporub on your mosquito bites…it takes away the itch and invest in a good electric tennis racket bug zapper.
I have so far managed to avoid the mosquitoes but I don’t think that will be the case for long!
Is it just me or does our neighbourhood have an abnormal amount of mosquitoes? Where the hell do they come from??
If you search for mosquito on my blog you’ll find more than a few rants, that’s for sure. We just had the guys from Hubo (they are up sort of behind Spinozaweg) over to measure our balcony doors for screens. I’ve had enough.
I’ve tried every weapon out there, my favorite yet is the vacuum. They cannot escape, no mosquito is strong enough to fly away from the suction. It’s fantastic!
Anneke – I feel for you. It itches like hell for me and I’m not even allergic as far as I know.
Sharon – Damn you for leading me into scrating temptation… I was too weak… *sob*
Heather – Thanks. I’ll try both those things.
mud – Yep. It’s only just that start. Although, it did start raining today so maybe I was calling it summer a little too soon.
Breigh – I so have to try the vacuum cleaner. Maybe I’ll get a little battery powered hand one to show them who is boss.
And yes, there is a bizzarly high amount of them around here.
Ouch !
Try eating garlic(y) foods, it may become your secret weapon.
I’m always ok about the mosquitoes around here, in Brazil they are rather like helicopters.
I find it’s best if you take the roller part off so you just have the long tube section of the vaccuum. Then you sort of JAB it at the spot where the mozzie is and he gets sucked right in. It’s best when you see them try to fly away but get sucked back in. An evil cackle fits great in that moment!
I Know who Alex is but who is Mrs Fluffykins the bear.
Sorry I meant MR Fluffykins