The Dangers of Cycling in The Netherlands

Cycling in The Netherlands

Since I can occasionally be a very accident prone person it might seem like an unwise idea for me to own a Fiets (bicycle) as a primary mode of transport. However, when I first moved to Holland it quickly became clear that I would require one in order to blend in with the locals who like to terrorise pedestrians and jump traffic lights at every given opportunity.

I did not have to look far for my two wheeled transport since my company was nice enough to give me one for free. However, they did not provide any training wheels or cycling lessons.

While riding my bicycle for the first time, I realized that the breaks were not situated on the handles where I was used to seeing them. This coursed a bit of a problem since one of the things you need to do quite often when riding a bicycle is stop. I soon discovered where the brakes were hidden when it was time to stop. By that I mean I discovered where they were after screaming, “Where are the brakes,” and crashing into a near by wall a few seconds later.

Afterwards, I was informed that to break all I had to do was push backwards on the pedals. This took a few attempts where I nearly launched myself over the handle bars before I was used to it.

I’m happy to say that I have not had any similar experiences while riding my bicycle since… until today.

As I cycled to the train station this morning along my usual rout I turned a corner to suddenly and unexpectedly be confronted with a street blocked by road works. I was already too close and peddling too fast to stop in time. I had no choice but to try and make it through to the other side.

I skilfully swerved to the left and avoided falling into the first pit. Then I daringly dodged to the right and just missed a collision with a road sign. Finally, I quickly jumped over the second pit and landed smoothly and safely on the other side. I looked back as my heart raced and I continued to peddle, amazed that I had made it through with such skill. It had been a spectacular display of daring stunts and acrobatics that would have made Evil Knievel jealous.

Then I looked back in the direction I was going, screamed like a girl and nearly decapitated by riding into the PVC tape barrier that was blocking the other end of the work site. Luckily the tape snapped before it catapulted me backwards off my bike and into one of the pits.

Maybe owning a bicycle is not such a good idea after all.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

28 Responses

  1. Tess says:

    No helmet, wow…, you are becoming a true Dutch cyclist then! You deserve the medal… *attach it to clothes*

  2. zed says:

    stu – they still live with me …. but i don’t wear a helmet either. i would if i could be arsed to cycle into work, but that would involve a gas mask as well. oh, it’s quite far away for a teletubbie like me.

  3. suus says:

    Hey, first time I came across this blog, and I like it a lot. Also the pictures of Haarlem are cool. Only via photo’s like these, I realise that my hometown isn’t so bad after all :)

  4. Dragon lady says:

    Suus Your home town Haarlem is beautiful. Stuarts Dad and I will really miss staying there. But then its beautifull where Stuart lives now as well and we can always visit Haarlem (especially V&D for dutch apple cake) note I must learn to spell the place where Stuart lives now.

  5. Invader Stu says:

    Tess – I will wear it with pride.

    Suus – Haarlem is a great place. I lived there for a few years and really liked it.

  6. Ash says:

    I wish I had a bike. Then I could blend in with the locals and drive around town really fast…

    … Luckily it only takes less than 10 mins to walk anywhere in this town!

    But still.

  7. tenakalaz says:

    damn just realised I hadn’t commented on this post…….

  8. Tess says:

    Good!
    Hey what’s up? That deadline in Aug. can’t be that killing hey?… :9

  9. Invader Stu says:

    Ash – Do they use bikes a lot out there?

    Tenakalaz – Just in time :p

    Tess – Do you miss me that badily? :p

  10. Ashlee says:

    Omigosh!!! I had nearly an identical experience with a backpedal braking bike last week that I blogged about.

    I am still in a great deal of pain!

    I found you blog off Tokyo Girls… it is great, the layout is fantastic!! I will definately be coming back to visit, good luck with bike related pain recovery.

  11. Invader Stu says:

    Ashlee – Ouch. It sounds like you came off a little worse for wear then me :p

  12. hannyb says:

    I got here (a few years too late) via A Touch of Dutch’s “Top 5 Stu Posts”. Laughingly read it out to Jase saying, “That sounds familiar,” and he replied, “I wonder if he said ‘Shiiiiiiiiiiit’ too,” which is, indeed, what I yelled as my backpedalling failed to engage the breaks and I careened into a tree. See you Friday! :)

  13. Invader Stu says:

    I have a whole list of swear words I use the many times this has happened. Shit is at the top of the list :)

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