Farewell Red Bike

Lost Red Bike

If one day you find yourself wondering through the bicycle racks of Amsterdam and you happen to see a lonely and forgotten red bicycle, please stop for a moment and spare it a thought.

This poor bicycle will never know freedom again. It will never be able to do all the thing that bicycle’s enjoy and are supposed to do. Never again will it cycle… anywhere…

But it does not know this yet. Instead it waits faithfully, each morning, for its owner to return. It becomes excited by every passing tourist with ginger hair who looks slightly like the owner it loves and adores.

But time will pass by and it will stay where it is… forever chained… slowly rusting… silently waiting for a freedom that will never come. And then one horrible day it will finally lose all hope and realize that no one is coming, no one will ever ride it again. And in that tragic moment it will know the fate it has been left to suffer… Because its owner (me) is an idiot and lost its keys (again).

Lost Red Bike

I’m actually really sad about this (even more so after writing this farewell). It is true that this is not the first time something like this has happened. My bike has been lost to me before. But I fear this time might be the last time. With each fruitless search for the spare keys my hopes of freeing my bike from its bicycle rack prison diminishes a little more.

I’ve had my faithful little red bike ever since I first arrived in Holland in 2001. It is… was… the only bike I’ve ever had. I don’t know if I will ever learn to love another bike again but I guess I must try to get on with my life… somehow. I will always treasure the happy cycling memories that we had together… me and my little red bike.

Good bye old friend. I will miss you.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

18 Responses

  1. Alison says:

    Just call up this page if you need proof of ownership. ;) Perhaps bolt cutters are just as good an investment as multiple spare keys. If nothing else, you can hire yourself out to come to the rescue of others in a similar predicament!

  2. iooryz says:

    I have a small box with hooks to store my (spare) keys, mounted to the wall in the hallway. That might be a good thing for you as well, dear King Stu. For now, maybe you can ask your loyal citizens that remove wrongly placed and chained bikes to free your bike. Or just do it yourself, it can’t be that hard for a real dutch king!

  3. Invader_Stu says:

    Terri – You’re right. I can’t just leave it there… I WILL SAVE IT NO MATTER WHAT!!!

    Perovskia – Not yet. I’ll never love another bike again.

    Barb the French Bean – You expect me to read memos?

    Holmes Interventions Ltd – I don’t know if I can visit. It’s still too painful.

    VallyP – I guess I’mm not truly Dutch until I’ve stolen my own bike.

    Alison – I think this could be the start of a new career.

    iooryz – I’ll have to do it while wearing my full official king attire so the police know not to arrest me.

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