How To Identify A Dutch Circle Party
Anyone who has lived in Holland long enough has been invited to the dreaded ‘Dutch Circle Party’. But what about the people who have hosted one themselves? Sometimes they are unaware that they are throwing a Dutch circle party or maybe they are actively trying to avoid their party turning into one. Either way, here are some of the warning signs to look out for.
1) Are there chairs?
This should be your first warning sign. Even if you have not arranged the chairs into a circle yourself your Dutch guests will slowly re-arrange them into the ‘optimal party seating arrangement’ as they arrive (it is part of their natural instinct).
A simple solution for this problem is to hide all available seating. However, be warned, Dutch guests have been known to re-arrange any furniture they can find which can be sat on and/or lean on in order to form their own circle.
2) Are there drinks?
Tea does not count. If guests start turning down tea because they have reached their limit your party most likely turned into a circle party sometime ago (between the 2nd and 3rd cup). If you have been serving slices of cake with the tea the problem is even more serious.
Don’t be fooled by a small presence of alcohol at your party. Two guys using the opportunity to drink beer responsibly while their wives are distracted by someone else’s baby does not a wild party make.
Spiking everyone’s tea will soon liven up your party.
3) Is there music?
At a circle party there is often a lack of music so guests can hear each other ‘talk’. If there is music it is often very quiet or worse… Dutch.
Turn on some loud music to drown out the sound of guests talking about their mortgages.
4) Is everyone congratulating each other?
If guests start congratulating each other for your achievement (as if they are saying, “Well done for putting up with him for another year”) then your party could be a circle party (or simply very Dutch).
The best solution for this problem is to be as attention grabbing as possible and remind everyone that it is your day and it is you and only you they should be congratulating (However, this may lead to a real feeling of “Do we have to put up with him for another year?”). Plan a suitable entrance and party attire.
5) Are their guests from three generations?
If someone’s grandmother is chatting with someone’s two year old second cousin something went wrong with the party invites. It’s too late to do anything about it unless you hire a bouncer.
Still not sure if your party is a Dutch Circle Party? Then why not print out this handy flow chart?
Find out more about Dutch Circle Parties by checking out these posts:
The Original Circle Party Guide
How To Identify a Circle Party
Circle Party Closed Loop Theory
LOL! Completely true. Though the devolution from circle party to party! is also interesting, and starts at precisely 16.00, when the beer comes out :-)
Jules – That is true. Sometimes a circle party can be saved and turned into a real party.
Dave2 – Of course not. With so many of us coming from different parts of the world the Dutch to expat/visitor ratio will be below 50% :p
I assure you that Bitchsterdam is NOT a Circle Party.
Does the host play his CDs in alphabetical order, and is the average age of the guests 80 and up?
And most importantly: is the host running ragged serving everybody instead of announcing, “There’s the fridge, there’s the food, help yourself”?
Circle party!! AUGH!!!
Three+ years and I’ve still not attended a circle party, even though I’ve been to parties where the boyfriend and I were the only foreigners. I’m obviously not hanging out with the right kind of Dutch people. ;)
CW – There is no average age at a circle party. the one’s I’ve been to it can be anything between 1 month and 70 years.
Alison – One day Alsion, one day :p
Luckily for me, I live in an area which is heavily-populated by Spanish-speakers who wouldn’t *dream* of spending their evening sitting down in a circle to drink tea and listen to Dutch music.
Also: TRAFFIC CONE!!! WHOOOOOT!!!
Noooo!! It’s not fair! I’m very Dutch so I’m doomed to have circle parties for the rest of my life :(
Help me!!!
I’ve always had a sneaking suspicion that you are, now I’m convinced that you are.
I can give you the phone number of a very good trickcyclist. He cured me, and now I am perfectly sane, and I’ve got some chocolate money to prove it!
Ahhh… I don’t miss those!! I use to hide in the kitchen to avoid the circle of death. I would make sure to keep cleaning that one spot on the counter, just so I wouldn’t have to sit there.
Love it.
Haven’t been to one yet, but Dutch circle parties are one of those things that my work colleagues say “have you been to one? oh, well we’ll keep it a surprise so you can find out what they’re like for yourself.”
They also won’t tell me details about the office Christmas party citing a similar explanation, so there might be a connection now that I think about it.
Yep, I’am embarressed right now. My birthday parties are circle parties :-( and yes the age ranges from 9 til 86.
However booze as well as tea and cake (by the way) are readily available from the get go and it is never dull as far as I know (maybe I’am in denial).
Maybe we dutch need to shake things up a bit more, whoot whoot!!!
French Bean – Remind me to invite the Spanish to the next circle party I go to so they can liven things up.
Keith – What if the chocolate money melts in the sea? The we will be up the flower bed with out a Christmas card.
Marjolein – Have you tried being slightly less Dutch?
Melissa – Sounds like you were the Lady Macbeth of circle parties. “Out dam spot”
kerryanne & Johnny Simpson – Thank you
Yvette – Christmas circle party? One can only think of the horrors and shudder.
AstridQK – It sounds like you could be well on your way to solving some of the circle party problems.
Gold. Absolute gold. Somehow all the parties I go to turn into circle parties, and there are only ever a couple of Dutchies in attendance. There’s obviously a problem somewhere…