How to Simulate King’s Day at Home

Thanks to the Corona virus we are approaching our second Koningsdag (King’s Day) during lock down. Because of this it will be impossible to celebrate the day as normal… or will it?

We might all be (more or less) confined to our homes with not much to do outside of them and no possibility of meeting in crowds but that does not mean we can not simulate the full King’s Day experience at home.

Since last year I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it and have come up with a few suggestions about how to fully celebrate King’s Day at home.

Crowds and Atmosphere

A big element of King’s Day in the big cities are the big crowds. However, big crowds are a big no-no at the moment for obvious reasons. Don’t worry though. There is a simple way to simulate the overpowering presence of other human beings on the special day.

First, set the scene by buying hundreds of plastic cups, then crush them and litter them underfoot around the house. For extra sticky authenticity spill a little beer here and there as well.

Use your mobile music device to play the ambient noise of a big crowd (keep it with you as you move around the house). Then, in each room have additional music devices that play a different style of music. This is to simulate the feeling of going from one live performance to another. It does not all have to be music that you enjoy but it should be incredibly loud.

If you have access to full scale cardboard cutouts of people, place them randomly around the house. For extra effect tape additional plastic cups (uncrushed) to their hands and fill them with beer. These will provide your obstacles when moving from one room to another.

If you are sharing your King’s Day at home with family members, get them to crowd around you as closely as possible (lack of flu-like symptoms permitting). Instruct them to block your path whenever you try to go somewhere. For example, if you would like to go from the kitchen to the bathroom your ‘crowd’ should push you in the direction of the living room. This will simulate the impossible to navigate nature of the big city crowds. For extra authenticity get your ‘crowd’ to occasionally spill beer on you.

At some point get one member of your household to go to another random room in the house. Then have them phone you a while later with the goal of meeting up. However, they should be unable to accurately describe where they are or hear you. Have them use vague descriptive elements like, “there is a wall.”

Congratulations. You now have the basic setup of your stay at home King’s Day. However, there is more you can do to really create the authentic experience.

King’s Day at Home Free Market

Who doesn’t enjoy a good bargain or simply hunting for the strangest item they can find in the King’s Day free market. That is why the free market is another very important part of the King’s Day experience.

First, collect all your old DVDs, CDs, books and other items that you have been hoarding for the past few years. Once you have made your selection choose a spot in the house, preferably one that others living with you will regularly have to pass through (such as the hallway or kitchen). Then place all of your collected items on a cloth on the floor at that location. Try to sell them to your partner/children/housemates/household pets whenever they pass by.

At the end of the day leave any items that you have not sold where they are. Don’t worry if the people living with you complain that you have not tidied up. Simply tell them that you’ve left the items there for free for anyone who would like to take them.

For extra authenticity mark out your market spot on the floor the night before in chalk or tape.

Orange, Orange and more Orange

On King’s Day everything has to be orange and your house is no exception. If you’ve not redecorated everything to the festive colour you are doing something wrong. There should be orange bunting, slingers and balloons. Don’t be afraid to re-paint the occasional wall either.

You should raid your wardrobe for every orange novelty clothing item you can find. Orange clothes, orange cowboy hats, orange feather boas, orange clogs, orange wigs. If it’s orange you and your partner, children, house mates and or pets should be wearing them. Don’t forget that everyone should have the Dutch flag painted on their cheeks too (with the exception of the pets, they really don’t like it).

King’s Day at Home Bonus Tips and Tricks:

1. If you have young children fill the bath with water and use their toy boats to simulate the King’s Day chaos of the canals. 
2. You can also simulate extra crowds to scale by placing your children’s action figures around the house.
3. Wear novelty orange glasses to give everything an extra orange tint.
4. Charge yourself and anyone else who goes to the toilet one euro for doing so.

And there you have it. The perfect way to experience the big celebrations of King’s Day at home. I hope you all have a fun and safe King’s Day. Remember to celebrate responsibly.

If you have any other suggestions on how to stage a stay at home King’s add them in the comments below.

And if you’d like to know more about a normal Koningsdag check out my post on What is King’s Day – A Cartoon Guide to Koningsdag.