I am a Man!

I am a man

Today I did the manly-est thing ever known!

No one has ever come close to being as manly as I have upon this day in the entire history of world. Early cave men who sat around their newly discovered ‘fire’ while eating raw meat from the bones of their prey used to tell each other stories about the day they might be even half as manly as this. Throughout the whole of history great men have tried to make their name known through great deeds to reach this level of manly-ness. However, all of their amazing achievements pale in comparison to the epic story I am about to tell you. It is a story that will be told for years to come. It is a story that men will tell other men down pub before they look bitterly into their pint glasses and realize how empty their lives are. It is the kind of story that will make women swoon, men cry and inspire the children of tomorrow for generations to come. There will be statues made, songs sung and films filmed. It is a story that will be remembered forever!

Today I returned a faulty item to the DIY store and put some shelves up for my wife! I am a man!

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

19 Responses

  1. Rob says:

    And are they straight, these shelves? :)

  2. Invader_Stu says:

    Aledys – That’s what I keep on telling her :p

    Rob – Well… if you look at them slightly sideways they are.

  3. Alison says:

    I can feel the testosterone from here!

  4. Aledys Ver says:

    Just now I am green with envy – your wife is some lucky girl to have such a manly man as her “echtgenoot” :D

  5. Gez says:

    Dude! We need more manly detail! Use of powertools, measuring equipment, etc! Any life-threatening wounds (splinter in finger) sustained? Give us more!

  6. kiks says:

    That story is so laden with testosterone I just started ovulating.

  7. All I can say is “Grunt! Grunt!” with a tone of admiration …

  8. Invader Stu says:

    Alsion – Sorry. I should stop leaving that stuff laying around.

    Gez – There was indeed a hurt finger and several small cuts. I also got paint on my hands.

    Kiks – I should have warned you that the testosterone of this story is so strong that every lady who has read this is now pregnant… also the men.

    Unexpected Traveller – Grunt!

  9. French Bean says:

    Ikéa not required?

    (Welcome back, by the way!)

  10. Invader_Stu says:

    French Bean – Wellll… there might have been a little bit of Ikea

    Wezz6400 – Thank you. A stern handshake and a gentle nod to you to my fine fellow.

  11. Wezz6400 says:

    I was wondering when we would see your comeback, and what a great comeback it is! I will now grant you the honor of the most menly gesture of them all: a stern handshake and a gentle nod.

  12. dragonlady says:

    Welcome back.Not only a hunter gatherer but a fixer of shelves as well. Well done, I am so proud.

  13. Anneke says:

    Oh thou manliest of men! My heart aches in bitter jalousy! I wish I had such a manly man at my disposal to put up shelves.

  14. Keith says:

    What happened to my comment? I put it up yesterday and it disappeared!

  15. Invader Stu says:

    Dragonlady – Thank you :)

    Anneke – Ikea is a good place to find such a man.

    Keith – I’m not sure. I never saw one. Did you see it here after you posted it?

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