Jogging

Jogging

Red faced, gasping for breath and trying not to collapse after finally catching up with my flat mate during my first evening jog in a long time I was barely able to wheeze out the words:

“Dam… I can’t… even keep up… with a thirty-three… year old smoker… with a bad… back.”

Yes, I have decided it is time to get back in shape again. It might take a little while but it seemed like a good idea to start the New Years resolution early.

If you see a red faced ginger Englishman in a jogging outfit face down on a Dutch street as he tries to recover from lung collapse you will know it is me. Wish me luck…. then call an ambulance.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

34 Responses

  1. Jodie says:

    Watch out for patches of ice :D

  2. roxanne says:

    I went jogging today….and almost fell off the back of the treadmill. The rest of the time I couldn’t stop thinking about how embarrassing that would have been to actually fall off and possibly smack my face on the way down. Close call. I’ll make sure I call for an ambulance if I ever spot you. Will you be wearin that shirt and headband so I know it’s you?

  3. ellen says:

    I’ll revive you with doughnuts.

  4. Charlemagne Stavanger says:

    way to go stu ;)

  5. Tenakalaz says:

    Woohahaha, I am that smoking 33 year old with a bad back and on a course of valium, and 2 days ago, I had just put out a joint before going and he still came up red faced and wheezing 250 metres behind.

    You’ll get there stu and leave the wheezing old cripple behind, but not yet. But by then I will have finished my new mech legs and run like Forest Gump.

  6. Invader_Stu says:

    Jodie – They have given me trouble before… believe me.

    Roxanne – I’ve fallen off the treadmill before.

    Sadily I will be dressed differentially but maybe I should get a big 80s style headband

    Ellen – Evil :p

    Tenakalaz – You wont if I keep on sneaking into your room as you sleep and hitting you in the back with a sledge hammer.

  7. Tenakalaz says:

    Thats where them damn morning headaches are coming from.

    How do you like the horse shit in your bed ?

  8. Invader_Stu says:

    Tenakalaz – Not much…

    Actually, why are we writing comments like this we are sitting 2 meters from each other.

  9. Tenakalaz says:

    Coz, I don’t like your voice, you sound liek Shirly Temple with a burnt tounge when you talk.

  10. Invader_Stu says:

    *Invader Stu blocks Tenakalaz’s I.P address*

  11. Tenakalaz says:

    Yeh, but I am using the power of weed and 30 mil of Diazemepam, Do I can over come any block.

  12. Tenakalaz says:

    do = so just so you know

  13. Invader_Stu says:

    I thought the Diazemepam had turned you into Yoda

  14. Tenakalaz says:

    bed I must go, sleepw I will. Diazempam, has released much drowsyness in me.

    Drowsyness, leads to lethargy, lethargy, leads sleepiness, and sleepiness leads to unconciousness.

  15. Invader_Stu says:

    Everyone – He just asked me why did he write, “Shirly Temple with a burnt tounge.” Yep the painkillers are working.

    If you could see us we have been in hysterics during the last few comments. It must look strange to everyone else :p