Official Statement

Dear people of Holland,

This is not something that I normally do but I feel that it is important for me to make an official statement on something that you have all probably been wondering about.

I did not cause the power cut that affected large parts of the Netherlands last week.

Given my extremely accident prone nature it is understandable that some of you might have thought this. It is true that I have caused power cuts on several occasions in the past. However, those power cuts were always limited to my own home (as too was the fire). At the time of last week’s power cut I was not doing anything that could intentionally or unintentionally cause a large surge of electricity. I was not plugging something in, changing a light bulb, rewiring my house or performing any questionable experiments.

As for those of you who were wondering about my well being during the events of the power cut I am happy to report that I did not end up trapped in any lifts or trains (I am surprised too). In fact, I was quite unaware of what had happened until sometime later. The power cut happen moments after I stepped off the train at Amsterdam which might seem suspicious… but I’m sure I was not involved.