Live Blogging – Listening to a Neighbors Movie

Neighbors Movie

This is a completely improvised, written as it happens blog post. I’ve never done one of these before so it is a bit of an experiment. I am currently sitting in the front room of a friend’s house in Amsterdam. He’s not here. He’s in Australia. Don’t worry. I’ve not broken in. I’m house sitting for him. It is 11:45 at night. My girlfriend is asleep downstairs and for the last 15 minutes I have been listening to someone in the street watching a very loud movie while I try to write another not so improvised blog post.

At least I assume they are watching a movie. Maybe they are just having a shoot-out/car chase/military incursion going on in their living room. Either way I have become too intrigued in trying to work out what movie they are watching to write what I was originally writing.

I’ve not worked out much about the movie so far but the plot seems to be something along the lines of; “Argh!” Bang! Bang! “Go, go, go!” Bang! Bang! “We have a situation here.” Bang! “Argh! Go, go, go!”

In fact, for the last 15 minutes someone in the movie has been shouting “go, go, go” every few seconds. It must be a very exciting action movie or they really have to go somewhere. Maybe they are very late for a meeting.

I think someone just gave a motivational speech but it’s hard to make out the words. The music was very motivational though and there was a lot of cheering at the end. Could it be Brave Heart? There was a very motivational speech in that movie. Were there any shoot-outs or car chases in Brave Heart? I’ve not seen it.

No wait… That was a roar. I just heard a roar. It must be a monster movie. That or I just heard a drunk tourist in the street… No, I think it is definitely a monster movie. Maybe dinosaurs if I had to make an educated guess.

Someone is shouting “go, go, go” again. They must be really late for that appointment.

I could swear I just heard the voice of Jar-Jar? It’s hard to tell above all the gun fire and screaming. It could have been Shawn Connery. Were they ever in a movie together? Maybe some kind of buddy cop movie?

There was a loud crash but that was not the movie. Someone just fell off their bike in the street.

Now I hear emotional music. I think someone just died. I hope it was Jar-Jar and not Shawn Connery.

And now a car alarm has been going off for the last 10 minutes. There is no way of me knowing how the Brave-Heart-Buddy-Cop-Late-For-Meeting-Monster-Movie ends now. It will be a mystery that will go forever unanswered and torment me till my grave. At least they were nice enough to let me and the rest of the street hear their movie.

I bid you all goodnight.

(Posted at 1:00am. This is what happens when I try to write when I should be sleeping)

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

26 Responses

  1. Rob says:

    Are you talking about Shawn Connery in Brave Heart? I think you mean Mel Gibson :P

  2. French Bean says:

    Lol. Goodnight, Stuart. You need to “go, go, go!” to bed. *crash, bang*

  3. Alison says:

    Maybe someone just really needed the toilet (I’ve got to “go, go, go”), but had to face all these obstacles, such as dinosaurs, Sean Connery, Braveheart, and a war or two. Sadly, that doesn’t sound like such a far-fetched premise for a movie these days. ;)

  4. A Touch of Dutch blog says:

    I hope you were finally able to get some decent rest, but I can’t help but laugh a little about the idea of Jar-Jar and Connery in a buddy cop movie ;-)

  5. Jules says:

    I vote for Cloverfield :-) But at least it wasn’t…er, love-noises?

  6. Invader Stu says:

    Rob – No. I honest to good thought I heard the great Shawn Connery himself at one point but I don’t think it was really him. It just sounded like him.

    French Bean – I’m glad I did go, go, go to bed. Who knows what I mikght have started writing next if I stayed up any longer.

    Alison – I hear they have Michael Bay working on just such a movie.

    A Touch of Dutch – But would it make people forgive Jar-Jar for The Phantom Menace?

    Jules – Oh dear god. I had not thought of that. It could have been very loud, very complicated love noises :S

  7. Andrew says:

    I guessed Godzilla at the time, but looking back, I think it might have been a video game. No film is that repetitive, unless it’s directed by Michael Bay.

  8. Aledys Ver says:

    Well, thank those antisocial neighbours for this great post! :D I hope you got some rest after all the bang-bang-go-go was done!!

  9. Lopa says:

    May be they were watching Predators ! Just a guess.

    SO how many days you are going to house-sit for them? May be then you can catch up with many such audios movies and also some more posts about that ;) hehe

  10. Invader Stu says:

    Andrew – Or a computer game directed by Michael Bay. Now there is something to fear. (Video game did cross my mind at one point but I’m 99.9% sure it was a movie or TV show).

    Aledys Ver – I did in the end luckily. I could have slept during it but I might have had some strange dreams :)

    Lopa – It’s funny you should say that. I thought Predators at one point as well. I kept on listening for some to give the advice “get to the chopper now” but it never came.

    I’ve got just a few more days house sitting so I’m sure there will be more.

  11. Iooryz says:

    hmm, a load movie? was is oploaded, or downloaded? :p

  12. IrishAngell says:

    I know the movie! I watched it the other night and remember thinking gee that sounds like JarJar Binks!!!…but im not telling

  13. Invader Stu says:

    Iooryz – Oh it could have been a very downloaded movie :p

    Irishangell – oh you are evil. Dangaling the carrot of false movie knowledge in front of me :p

  14. Bart says:

    If you’re house-sitting for a friend, who is watching over your house?

  15. Invader Stu says:

    Bart – Burgles

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