Questions About Sinterklaas
The arrival of Sinterklaas can be a very confusing time for expats in Holland. It’s a tradition that raises a lot of questions for those who are unfamiliar with it. Who is he and why does he give out presents on December 5th? Why does he live in Spain? Who are his helpers the Zwarte Pieten?
However, over the years I have come to realize that there are certain questions that it is simply best not to ask when The Sint comes to town. The Dutch don’t always respond well to such questions and sometimes they simply pity your stupidity.
1) “Do you think the pope knows his hat is missing?”
2) “If I pledge allegiance to Sinterklaas do I still get gifts from Santa?”
3) “How many hours do you think Sinterklaas spends grooming his beard every morning? He’s very metro for an old man.”
4) “Who do you think would win in a fight? Sinterklaas or Santa?”
5) “Do you think it’s like this all year around in Spain?”
6) “Do you think Sinterklaas works on pakjesavond so he can have Christmas off? Or do you think Santa works on Christmas so he can have pakjesavond off?… or both?”
7) “Do you think the Pieten get confused whenever anyone calls out their name? Do they all answer?”
8) “If I’m on Santa’s naughty list am I automatically on Sinterklaas’ naughty list as well? Because if so I’m in trouble.”
9) “Do you think Sinterklaas realizes that owning a steam boat is not very good for his carbon footprint?”
10) “Can you OD on pepernoten? Because I might need an ambulance.”
And the number one question that you must never ever ask a Dutch person:
“Why is Santa riding a horse?”
Bart – You’re lucky you did not get sued by Sinterklaas or Santa.
IrishAngel – With all the Zwart Pieten I bet it is a circle party several miles wide.
Read you post with a big smile. Thanks for sharing
Otto – Thanks. I’m glad you liked it.
I saw Sinterklaas coming on a boat in Almere along with Pieten on second boat. I am just wondering.. do Spanish people know about him? And does he speak Spanish? Because that would be logical if he lives there.. But I have to admit- free pepernoten.. lekker!
Alicia – Good question. Maybe the Spanish see him about town but don’t know anything about it. They might think he is just an eccentric old man.
Stu- it’s not that I didn’t know Santa isn’t Sinterklaas in disguise, I just find it not particularly important in the pecking order because I’m still going to be on Team Santa. Sort of like how Brits like to tell me how American football is a descendant of rugby- ok, that’s nice, but what’s your point exactly and do you think I’m going to stop following American football as a result?
I guess my point is I’m sure the Greeks and Romans got into arguments of a similar nature regarding Zeus morphing into Jupiter, so whatevs. ;)
Santa vs Sinterklaas in a fight you say? I’ll bite.
*Weight Class – Santa ways at least two or three times what Klaas does, however most of it is pure blubber. Regardless, in a grappling match Claus simply has to obey the law of gravity and the fat lady (Mrs. Claus?) will sing. Point: Santa Claus
*Speed – While Santa certainly outclasses Klaas in pure mass, he makes up for it by a lack of mobility. I am almost certain that he might have lost one or both of feet to diabetes, and it’s a miracle the man can move without a rascal. Point: Sinterklaas
*Backup – Sinterklaas has a horse and a boatload of black midgets, whereas Santa has eight flying reindeer and an army of elven midget slaves. One might assume that the flying reindeer would give the edge to Santa, but one has to consider the very high likelihood of the elves going Bolshevik and turning on Claus for over 200 years of serious labor law violations. I’m calling this a draw. Point: Undecided
*Killer Instinct – Santa Claus is typically held as the antithesis of blind murderous rage, but considering the aforementioned mass slavery and assuredly associated “motivations†/ crippling beatings / example makings one has to assume some well hidden nastiness. On the other hand, Sinterklaas openly advertises that he will cold friggin’ beat naughty children, bag ‘em and take them off to Spain as slaves to paint oranges orange. Point: Sinterklaas
Based on my preliminary analysis I would put my money on Sinterklaas.