Speaking Dutch With A Strong English Accent
Lately I have become very aware of the accent I use when speaking Dutch. There is nothing wrong with the accent itself. It is very clear, strong and well articulated. As accents go it is a very good accent. If I had to give it a score between 1 and 10 it would be at least an 9, maybe an 9.5.
However, if I was forced to make one criticism it would be that it is entirely the wrong accent of the language I am attempting to speak. For some bizarre reason I have fallen into the habit of speaking Dutch with a very strong English accent.
You might think that this sounds perfectly logical considering the fact that I am and always have been English (it says so in my passport). However, it is not ‘my’ English accent that I am using. Speaking Dutch somehow amplifies my English-ness and brings out my inner upper-class posh gentleman. I don’t consider myself that posh in normal life but the moment I start speaking Dutch with a Dutchman it’s as if I am channelling the spirit of Oscar Wilde.
When buying stroopwafels at the local super market it sounds like I’m on an official trade mission on behalf of Queen Elizabeth herself. Basically, I speak Dutch like a 1950’s BBC radio news reader.
How I manage to mix the refined sounds of English high society and the harsh hacking guttural sounds of the Dutch language is quite beyond even me but at this rate it is only a matter of time before I start using phrases like ‘pip pip’ and ‘good show old chap’ in Dutch.
I am not even sure when or why I started doing this. Maybe it is out of some apologetic politeness towards the person who’s language I am butchering or maybe it is old imperial colonization instincts that are telling me, speak posh enough and you will be understood.
Either way it leads to a lot of unsurprised Dutch faces when I use phrases like, “Ik kom uit England.”
Don’t worry Stu, its what the English call your “telephone voice”Whenever an English person talks to a stranger on the phone they put on a posh voice.
Petje af, hoor ! At least you are making an effort.
Well, the spirit of Oscar WildE will come haunting you after spelling his name without an ‘e’. ;-)
And trust me on this one: you will always have an English accent. Just the other day I was chatting with a lady on the train and asked her from what part of England she was from. She lived here for 25 years. ;-)
I think you’re doing a good job trying and very happy you don’t speak ‘plat Nederlands’.
Capital, capital!!
Anita – Thank you :)
Dragonlady – I had not thought of that. I think you are right.
Priscilla – Eep. Hopefully I have appeased his spirit by correcting the mistake. Thanks for spotting that.
Is plat Nederlands anything like chav English?
I got accused of sounding welsh after 6 months in Hereford once. Once.
You’re not alone. I’ve been told that I speak Dutch with a French accent. Pretty strange since I don’t speak French.
The “telephone voice” makes sense.
Amanda – Are you sure you are not French? Did you check?
Jimbo – Once? Did you kill them so they never could again?
Dave2 – You’re Batman?! I love your work.
Deep down, you don’t want people to forget that you’re English. Just like deep down I don’t want people to forget that I’m Batman, which is why I speak Dutch with a Batman accent.
You, sir, clearly have nothing to declare except your wit. And your English accent. :-P
I never had the French think that I was an American based on my accent. They could tell that I was a foreigner…just not an English-speaking one.
I did a similar thing. I think it was partly out of a desire to avoid their disappointment, this way they’re less surprised when the inevitable switch to English happened!
French Bean – Were you trying to hide that you are American? :p
Andrew – Good point. It could be a subconscious cry for help. “Please switch to English.”
I know the problem. Whenever I go into a shop in France and ask for “quatre croissants et une baguette de pain” or something in my bestest French, the usual reply is “Certainly sir, and do you require anything else?” in perfect English; better than my French! How the hell can they tell I’m English?
Me? Sound ‘Merican? Naw, man, whaevuh gave ya THAT ideer? :-P
Interesting. I just moved to Amsterdam 2 days ago so certainly too early to figure out what sort of accent I will or will not have (happy I got “dank u wel” down pat at this stage sort of thing), but I AM fluent in Hungarian which is another obscure small country language. And yep, I have an accent- I’ve never thought about what sort because there it’s just plain weird to have one, period, as people just get confused by the accent existing alone. So enough outside people try to learn Dutch that there are accents then?
As a native of Flanders, I can tell you that all Dutch people have an accent
Goed optreden, oude vent