Speculoos Secret Stash

Speculoos Hidden Stash

Regular readers of this blog will already know the story about my crippling speculoos addiction, how I was unable to control myself and the long, difficult struggle I went through to become a normal and productive member of society once again. I have been clean for several months now and no longer find myself under the control of its delicious goodness. My life is back to normal.

Or at least I thought it was until I recently discovered this in our kitchen:

Speculoos Jars

Speculoos Secret Stash

Ok. I know I ‘maybe’ sometimes over exaggerate the whole speculoos addiction thing in the name of comedy (the stuff is just so damn amazing) but I honestly have no idea how this happened. I’m not intentionally hording the stuff.

I am serious. I didn’t even know that they were there. It was only while rummaging through one of the kitchen cupboards recently that I discovered this stock pile scattered amongst the other breakfast goods, hidden behind the tea bags, cereal and hagelslag.

They are not half empty either. They’re all full. This is the kind of obsessive compulsive addiction hording behaviour that would put a crack addict to shame. How many more jars might I have hidden around the house without even realizing? Did I hijack a delivery truck while in some kind of speculoos induced haze?

This isn’t everything either. There is even speculoos ice cream in the freezer and biscuits in the biscuit tin. This is not a joke any more. I really do need help.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

18 Responses

  1. Breigh says:

    I’ve STILL not tried that stuff! You have scared me out of ever tasting it for fear of never being able to give it up. Although, I could maybe be convinced to give it a try on our next games night, if you haven’t eaten it all by then :P

  2. Alison says:

    I filled out the form yesterday for the free sample of the hagelslag. I’m trying to avoid the spread, since I’m on a diet and already have to avoid the jars of Nutella that my boyfriend keeps on hand.

  3. Heather says:

    Must remember to look for the ice cream. I wouldn’t mind trying that.

  4. Bertie says:

    This is a new one for me, I have been away to long from the NL, will have to try it out next week when I set foot on the other side of the channel:)) whatever do the Dutch think of next, drop spread, yummie .)

  5. Iooryz says:

    When i was a kid, i loved to put the biscuits on bread, but i was only allowed on special occasions. I ordered the free sprinkles as well and had to warn you on twitter. Enjoy them!

  6. Jules says:

    Oddly, I don’t find it compulsively addictive. I like it, but not enough to remember to buy it regularly.

  7. Dave2 says:

    I’m the same way with chocolate pudding. I buy Snack-Pack Pudding by the case, and always have loads of the stuff packed into my cupboard!

  8. dragonlady says:

    Personally I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I don’t mind the crunchy one but really don’t like the smooth one. Luckily we can’t buy it in England.

  9. HolmesInterventionsLtd says:

    Step one. Call me. I can ‘dispose’ of all those treats. Step two. You’re going to have to chuck everything Dutch out of your house. Everything that reminds you of Holland. Yes, even Mrs Stu. Then we’ll need lots of hot water and towels. Also teabags, hob-nobs and a curry wouldn’t go amiss. We can save you.

  10. Lily-Margaret says:

    Ohhh yum. Speculoos is majestic in all forms, don’t suppress your addiction just embrace it! :)

  11. Bart says:

    Did you check the water tank of your toilet?

  12. French Bean says:

    As a recovering addict who easily scarfed down 3 jars of Speculoos in a month, I highly suggest you get a bunch of your Dutch friends and have a circle party to share these evil jars of evil as soon as possible…

    Your thighs and belly will thank you. I nearly fainted when I saw that 100 grams, or 3 hefty tablespoons, could rack up nearly 600 calories! Eek!

    But looking at those full jars of speculoos. I can see them glistening in the picture, tantalizing me with their cinnamon-y goodness. I have yet to try the Crunchy kind and, OMG, are those CHOCOLATE speculoos cookies??? France doesn’t have those…

    *shifty glance*

    I think I might go to Holland after all to, uh, see Queen’s Day!

    Yeah. That’s it. Queen’s Day.

    It’s not like I’m planning to cross the border with an empty suitcase and head off to raid the nearest AH or anything. Nope. Nothing of the sort!

    >.>

  13. linda@adventuresinexpatland.com says:

    As I was scrolling down and caught a glimpse of the speculoos butter, I started to giggle. But I laughed out loud when I saw the speculoos hagelmix! Wow, you really do have a problem, and ‘the Man’ is pushing ‘the product’ on you big time!

    For me, speculoos was a gateway drug to the truly insidious stroopwaffel.

  14. Heidi says:

    Your post inspired me to seek out some of the Speculoos spread, since I’d never tried it before. You are right. It is awesome! I’m only on my first few bites, but I’m probably already developing an addiction!

  15. Invader Stu says:

    Breigh – Hhhmmmm. Give up some of my supply or get someone else hooked so they can understand me… It’s a tough choice :p

    Alison – Don’t you realize that the hagelslag is just a gate way drug to the hard jar based stuff. The first one is always free.

    Bertie – Drop? It would not surprise me at all.

    Heather – It’s really nice stuff.

    Dragonlady – If it could be bought in England the English would not stand a chance.

    Dave2 – If you find a good rehab place let me know.

    Iooryz – Thanks for the warning. Unfortunatilly I was already hooked. It is too late for me. SAVE YOUR SELF!!

    Jules – That’s what all the addicts say. “I’m not hooked.”

    HolmesInterventionsLtd – Hot water and towels? I’m trying to give up an addiction, not have a baby :p And give up Mrs Stu?! I know who you are and I know where you live.

    Lily-Margaret – Finally! The real support I was looking for. Thank you.

    Bart – And under the floor boards. I found the stuff every where.

    French Bean – I get 50% of what ever you steal for not calling the cops.

    Linda – Oh god yes. Stroopwaffel is soooo good too.

    Heidi – There is no turning back for you now. You’ll never be able to give the stuff up.

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