Red Light District Amsterdam

Red Light District

I’ve already written about one of Hollands well know vices, the drug culture. There is of course another vice which the country is very well known for. Something that brings a particular kind of tourist to certain shady areas of the country to indulge themselves in special ways. Yes, you’ve guessed it. I’m going to talk about windmills.

Alright. I’m not really going to talk about windmills. I’m going to talk about the sex industry in Holland. Holland has a very open view towards sex and prostitution is legal and regulated in most cases. If you want to see just how open the dutch view towards sex is (or you are on a stag night) you will find no better example then the Red Light District in Amsterdam. It is a network of alleyways containing hundreds of tiny one-room apartments where prostitutes wearing just underwear or bikinis offer their services from behind glass doors. Its also a place where you can find live sex shows, peep shows, sex museums and shops that sell the kind of toys you wont find in London’s Hamleys. Amsterdam has the most well known Red Light District but a lot of towns have there own versions as well. Its also not unusual to pass a sex shop in the main street of some towns.

If you come from a more reserved country the red light district is the kind of place you have to see to believe. In someways it is a tourist sight seeing attraction and that is why a lot of tourist go there for a game of Eye-Spy-Ho. Even my parents want to have a look around when ever they visit (at least that’s what my dad tells my mum). I’ve seen other families walking around there too to see if all the stories they have heard are true. However it is still a sex industry area and has its seedy side. You will often see men lined up out side prostitutes doors waiting for their turn and illegal stuff does still happen.

Visiting The Red Light District

I had a look around a few days after I first arrived in the country (and I’ve only ever looked). It was a time when I still looked very much like an out of place tourist so as I walked down one of the alleyways all I heard behind me was doors opening and calls of…

“Hello English boy.”

“Over here Ginger boy.”

“Hi red head.”

…I just kept on walking.

When my friends come to visit from England they also want to do a bit of window shopping (even the girls) because like everyone else they can not believe it until they see it with their own two eyes. This is how I ended up going to see one of the live sex shows. This might sound very seedy and in someways it was but in others it was quite an eye opener. I don’t mean that I finally found out the true story of where babies come from that night. I mean I was surprised to find out the place was more high tec then some normal theaters I have worked for in the past. They even had a revolving stage and a lighting set up which would make most bands envious. Not all the clientele were brown rain coat wearing men either. Again there were a lot of tourists and couples who just wanted to see the show for the novelty/curiosity factor.

As for the performance itself? Yes, there really where two people on stage having sex and sometimes just a woman alone with more of those toys that are not stocked by Hamleys. Some of the performers looked very bored as if they were following a script which they had done a thousand times before (which is probably just what it is like for them).

Part of the show was interactive as well. There was the woman who fed a banana to a member of the audience but she was not holding it with her hands or even her feet. There was a scary moment when she almost picked me and a friend out of the audience but we sank very low into our seats at that point.

If you are ever in Amsterdam the Red Light District is one of those places you have to see just so you can say you have seen it. However, don’t take any photos unless you want a very angry prostitute trying to take your camera away (cameras are banned in the area).

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

20 Responses

  1. Rose DesRochers says:

    Thank you but no thank you. Call me old fashion, but I think that sex is something intimate that is to be shared between two people without an audience.

  2. Paul says:

    Another good read. I’m a Brit in America and I’m always surprised at the size of the sex industry over here in the US. I’m guessing us Brits just aren’t used to this sort of thing.

  3. sharlet says:

    Very interesting… :P

    It would seem that they’ve commercialised it to a large degree. Have you visited Bangkok (Thailand)? It sounds pretty much the same how they’ve turned it into a tourist attraction of sorts.

    While in Amsterdam it seems all about just “sex”, in Bangkok the main draw is its “lady boys”, or transvestites. And some of them are so pretty you can’t even tell they are… oops, sorry, *were* men. :P

    I’ve visited Bangkok before and seen its “trans shows”. As for Amsterdam… it’ll have to wait till I decide to tour Europe.

    Thanks for the post Stu! :)

  4. Invader Stu says:

    Paul – I agree. It makes Soho and years of Carry On movies seem tame.

    Sharlet – No problem. I hope it answered your question :)

    I’ve never been to Bangkok but I’ve heard some of the stories. I’ve been told there are a few lady boys in Amsterdam to but since I’ve never seen any this either means its a lie or they really look like women.

  5. sharlet says:

    Quote: “…its a lie or they really look like women” – Haha! I’m sure you can tell right, being a man? I heard men are better at spotting such stuff. But then again, if they’re anything like Korea’s Ha Ri Su, I think even the most expert eyes can be fooled!

  6. JaG says:

    Nice post!

  7. marycub says:

    The red light district is funny.

    I took my bf there once and as u probably know it starts off with just a few windows dotted along the street, so my bf was like “oh its not that bad”… until we turned the corner and then it was row upon row of windows and he went very quiet :D

    I don’t have any qualms about the district in ‘dam so i had a good laugh at his embarrassment.

    hee hee

  8. marycub says:

    ooo i’ve just realised you’ve linked me.

    Ta veh much :)

  9. roxanne says:

    I’m not really commenting on this post. But reading through a few of your previous posts I found out some strange coincidences between you and my son.

    1. red-head
    2. nickname ginger (what he’s currently being called at school and loathes it)
    3. draw cartoons
    4. video game industry (his new plan is to be a video game designer)

    maybe you’re long lost brothers :)

    roxanne

  10. Invader Stu says:

    Sharlet – If I’m ever looking around there again I’ll keep an eye out of AdamÂ’s Apples :p

    JaG – Thank

    Marycub – It’s funny. I thought the same thing. The main street did not seem too bad until I turned in to one of the alleyways. You’re welcome for the link.

    Roxanne: Mummy? :p

  11. sharlet says:

    I couldn’t help laughing at Roxanne’s comment and your answer to it! :D

  12. Rose DesRochers says:

    Ignore my comment that’s ok by me.

  13. Invader Stu says:

    I don’t think anyone was not replying to them on purpose Rose. Sorry. Please don’t take it the wrong way.

  14. Rose says:

    I was refering to you. LOL

  15. vallyP says:

    I know this is an old one, but I am so tickled by the way you describe things. I’ve never been into a red light district club, and think I can probably manage to live without it..i would be a red faced as the little cartoon you. I have walked through it, though, and was, like everyone else, amazed at its flagrance…not the nice smelly kind either!

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