Student Politics

Student Politics

Politics has never really been my subject. It’s one of the topics that makes my head hurt if I think about it too much. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I decided not to run for the position of Student Council Class Representative when I was at college (as a theater design student). I left that responsibility to my fellow class mates who had more political ambitions. There were three candidates but only one clear winner once all the votes had been counted, Malcolm.

Malcolm had won by a land slide but there was one small problem, something that made it difficult for him to for fill his new position in student politics (or any thing else for that matter). Malcolm was an inanimate green amphibian, a stuffed toy frog to be more precise. He was our class mascot who had been nominated because we needed a third candidate.

He would have been more at home on the Muppet show then in a meeting room debating what should be available in the college canteen. It had been amusing to vote for him but we had to face facts. Malcolm was not capable of representing us (something that was fundamental to the position as the title suggested). His muteness would impair his abilities and influence on the student council. We were forced to take another vote.

Once all the votes were counted again the winning student was awarded with his new title. However it was not the title of Student Council Class Representative. That would have been unfair to Malcolm. Instead the chosen student was crowned, “The Voice of Malcolm.” He became Malcolm’s emissary, his vessel, his voice.

The Voice of Malcolm took Malcolm to every meeting of the student council and spoke his wishes aloud for them all to hear. I never attended one of the meetings myself but often imagined Malcolm perched on his shoulder while whispering ideas into his ear like something out of a Philip Pullman book. However, some suspected that The Voice of Malcolm was only speaking for himself. No one showed any signs of being unhappy though (even if it would have been a great injustice).

Then one fateful day disaster struck. Malcolm had been left by the studio’s open window. As he sat their minding his own business (either thinking about the pond out side or his dreams to climb the political ladder) he fell out of the window into the car park bellow. By the time we had reached the car park to rescue him he was gone. We will never know if it was a simple accident or a political assassination attempt that led to his disappearance.

We tried to find a replacement but no other toy frog was worthy of filling Malcolm’s shoes. He had become more then a class mascot, he was our leader and he was mourned. You might think the story of Malcolm I have told you is far too strange to be true but we really did vote for a stuffed toy frog to be our Student Representative, someone really was appointed as his voice and he really was lost the day he fell out of that window (we were strange/typical students). I like to think that maybe he is still alive some where (as alive as an inanimate green amphibian can be) living like a king and leading some small country we have never heard of to a state of prosperity. Long live Malcolm.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

34 Responses

  1. BlondebutBright says:

    Well, I just have to know – what college WAS this? ;)

  2. Aisling // Ash says:

    Awwww, that would be so wicked! I would totally vote for a stuffed frog! Lol. Sad that he went missing though. He’s probably working on some excellent political theories that will one day win the Nobel prize!

    Oh, and if you don’t read my comments thingy again, Thanks to the multiple Stuarts that are still reading my blog! Ha ha ha!

  3. Joe says:

    Ive said this before, and ill say this again:

    Legend.

    Long Live Malcolm!

  4. Miss Evvil says:

    Brilliant Stu!! This was just what I needed on a grey, cold and “buzy” day at work :D
    Your stories always make me smile, and very often laugh, which is not always so handy in a small open office, seing as my boss then figures out that I’m not deeply consentrated on my work ;)
    Anyways, I love this blog Stu!

    Greatings from a fellow “expat” in Holland (The Hague)

  5. Alisha says:

    I love your stories and the way you write them. You keep me coming back, I can’t get enough! :)

    Do you ever post photos of you/friends/holland/etc?

  6. Tenakalaz says:

    Wind in the willows high I believe wasn’t it stu.

  7. Invader_Stu says:

    Miss Evvil – Thanks. I’m glade you like it. I hope I don’t get you fired :p

    Alisha – Thanks :) I’ve not put many photos on here yet but I plan to put some of Holland up later.

    BlondebutBright & Tenakalaz – Yes. I had architecture lectures with Mr Badger, lighting lesions with Mole and rowing lesions with Ratty (I was never sure what rowing had to do with my course).

  8. Invader_Stu says:

    Ash – I still hope to see him again one day.

    I’ll remember to bring more of my split personalties next time (There was an issue with logging i.n)

  9. Emiel says:

    Maybe, in the land where Malcolm lives, they have a stuffed human to be their student representative. And maybe, that country is not as far away as we think…

  10. ellen says:

    Do you think there are world governments that are actually run this way? Puppet kings? Ouch, I’m makin my own head hurt….

  11. Tenakalaz says:

    about 7 hours by plane to new york…….. damn I can never keep secrets

  12. Invader_Stu says:

    Joe – Malcolm for world president

    Tess – Wow. That is freaky. It’s a super frog. Maybe it splits apart in to three when it needs to attack.

    Emiel – That sounds just a little scary. I’m not sure why.

    Tenakalaz – What? You know Malcolm? How? :p

  13. tenakalaz says:

    ssssssshhhhhhhhhhh……….. *cough*

    (between you and me, I heard he had joined the A-Team)

  14. vallyP says:

    Malcolm’s probably gone travelling with that garden gnome who keeps sending pictures of himself from all over the world to his former owners…in fact it’s probably Malcolm taking the photos.;-)

  15. Invader_Stu says:

    Tenakalaz – I should have guessed

    Ellen – I better not tell you about the other things we got up to at college then.