London Visit

London Visit

After two weeks of visiting friends and family in England I have returned to Holland. During my visit I:

Took part in the English tradition of self inflicted liver damage coursed by the consumption of vast quantities of alcoholic based beverages.

Confused a waiter by accidentally speaking Dutch.

Got very sunburnt.

Danced to a lot of 80s music.

Willingly ate vegemite, liked it and lost a two year long running argument with an Australian friend that it was the most horrible thing on the planet. In my defence I was drunk. She took advantage of my taste buds.

Told a group of girls in a London bar that it was my birthday so my friends and I could have our photo taken with them. I was very drunk. My birthday is not until December.

Rescued a toy Koloa from an evil tyrant who had kept it trapped in a wrapping paper prison since December under the pretence that it was a late Christmas present.

Had a meal with a group of girls that I had not seen since primary school and wondered if suggesting a game of kiss chase would get the same response as an adult that it did as a child.

Fixed my dad’s GPS car navigation system that was speaking German and giving wrong directions.

Had a conversation with a female friend which means I will never be able to think of Hello Kitty in the same way again.

Spent an afternoon in Hyde Park drinking with friends and luckily managed to avoid knocking out any innocent bystanders with our Frisbee.

Randomly bumped into three friends on the streets of London on three separate occasions. Then, when I returned to Holland I found an email from another friend telling me that they saw someone who looked just like me. It turned out it was me. I now wonder if I was ever actually in London. Maybe the plane landed in the Twilight Zone instead.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

16 Responses

  1. VallyP says:

    Stu…I swear you are a hopeless reprobate! I dunno…all this alcohol and girls!!! Great isn’t it?

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