London Visit

London Visit

After two weeks of visiting friends and family in England I have returned to Holland. During my visit I:

Took part in the English tradition of self inflicted liver damage coursed by the consumption of vast quantities of alcoholic based beverages.

Confused a waiter by accidentally speaking Dutch.

Got very sunburnt.

Danced to a lot of 80s music.

Willingly ate vegemite, liked it and lost a two year long running argument with an Australian friend that it was the most horrible thing on the planet. In my defence I was drunk. She took advantage of my taste buds.

Told a group of girls in a London bar that it was my birthday so my friends and I could have our photo taken with them. I was very drunk. My birthday is not until December.

Rescued a toy Koloa from an evil tyrant who had kept it trapped in a wrapping paper prison since December under the pretence that it was a late Christmas present.

Had a meal with a group of girls that I had not seen since primary school and wondered if suggesting a game of kiss chase would get the same response as an adult that it did as a child.

Fixed my dad’s GPS car navigation system that was speaking German and giving wrong directions.

Had a conversation with a female friend which means I will never be able to think of Hello Kitty in the same way again.

Spent an afternoon in Hyde Park drinking with friends and luckily managed to avoid knocking out any innocent bystanders with our Frisbee.

Randomly bumped into three friends on the streets of London on three separate occasions. Then, when I returned to Holland I found an email from another friend telling me that they saw someone who looked just like me. It turned out it was me. I now wonder if I was ever actually in London. Maybe the plane landed in the Twilight Zone instead.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

16 Responses

  1. Wezz6400 says:

    Welcome back. :-)
    Sounds like you had a great time, though I do seriously doubt whether your drinking is a healthy habit. :-X

  2. Invader Stu says:

    I might have to agree :p

  3. Tess says:

    I think I shattered your anime dream, didn’t I? *hehe* I wonder what her movies are like :9

  4. Rose DesRochers says:

    Welcome back. :-) Let me guess your friend has a Hello Kitty Vibrator?

  5. Invader Stu says:

    Tess – I’m guessing x rated now :p

    Rose – Maybe, maybe not.

  6. BlondebutBright says:

    Glad to have you back! You’ve missed summer, by the way – have you heard?

  7. Invader Stu says:

    BlondebutBright – You had summer over here? There was some summer while I was in London during my second week. I even got a bit sun burnt.

  8. Ana Luisa says:

    While you were away, I laughed my head off with your old stories. I’m moving to Holland next week and am glad I found your blog (although, it probably made me even more nervous about it than before!).
    Welcome back! :)

  9. ChickyBabe says:

    So that’s where you were hiding… in alcoholic beverages! :P Speaking to an English waiter in Dutch cracked me up!

  10. Manictastic says:

    That must have been a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious trip.

  11. Invader Stu says:

    Ana Luisa – I was really nervous when I first moved here as well but now I am very happy I did. If you have any questions about anything to do with moving to Holland feel free to send me an email.

    ChickyBabe – And I’d not drunk that much when I did that :p

    Manictastic – It was :)

  12. JaG says:

    Looks like you had fun! Welcome back!

  13. Dragon Lady says:

    The speaking Dutch to an English waiter was at his cousins wedding. Mind you that may not have been the only time during his visit.

  14. Aisling says:

    I just got back from Quebec, land of the French speaking Canadians, and now I often speak French as an instinct to salespeople and such. For example “Would you like bag?” “Ouais… Uh… Je veux dire, Yes. Yes. Bag. I’m Anglophone.”

  15. Invader Stu says:

    JaG – Thanks

    Dragon Lady – Nop, that was it.

    Aisling – It’s great to see the look of confusion isn’t it :)

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