Doe Normaal – How to Be ‘Normal’ Like the Dutch

If you’ve lived in the Netherlands for any amount of time you have probably heard the Dutch phrase ‘Doe Normaal’. You might even have had it shouted at you by a passing local. If so, congratulations. You have been designated ‘not normal’ but don’t worry. Most of us are not normal around here. Let me be the first to welcome you to the group.

The Dutch phrase ‘doe normaal,’ roughly translates to, “be normal,” or “act normal.” It’s a phrase that can be used as a reaction to a wide range of strange (and sometimes not so strange) behaviors from others. It can be used for anything from a minor infraction of an unwritten social rule to the kind of truly crazy behavior that might get you committed. Because of this it might not always be easy to understand exactly why someone started shouting ‘doe normaal’ at you (unless you were doing something that was really obviously weird, in which case they were probably right and you should stop). 

Even though the phrase roughly means ‘stop being weird and act normal’ if you ask any Dutch person about it you’ll quickly discover that its true meaning goes a little deeper.

After all, one person’s ‘niet normaal’ might be another person’s ‘normaal’. 

The Dutch Version of Normal

To better understand the phrase and what is considered ‘not normal’ we first need to understand what the Dutch think of as normal. 

In many ways the phrase ‘doe normaal’ sits at the core of the Dutch identity. It’s importance comes from how they view themselves. The Dutch pride themselves on being down to earth, realistic, calm and straightforward (but less strict than the Germans). 

It’s too bad that in reality the Dutch are just as crazy as the rest of us. It’s just a different flavour of crazy which involves dressing in orange, swimming in canals and eating raw herring…

Okay, they are quite down to earth in some areas really but they are also quite crazy in others. But anyway, I digress. 

The important thing to remember is that anything that falls outside that Dutch pragmatic self image will often fall into the ‘niet normaal’ category.

The Many Uses of Doe Normaal

A Dutch parent can say ‘doe normaal’ to their child if that child is misbehaving or acting moody. However, that same child could also say it to their parents if those parents are being uncool and embarrassing them in front of their friends. It’s a phrase with a lot of flexibility.

A stranger on the street might say it to you if you are acting weird in public. For example, dancing through the street dressed head to toe in novelty orange clothing on any other day than Kingsday. Sometimes timing is everything.

An angry passenger might say it to you on a train if your conversation is getting too loud and rowdy. Especially if you dare to do so in the silent train carriage.

A friend might say it as a way of telling you to pull yourself together if they think you are overreacting to something or getting too emotional.

Sometimes you might receive a ‘doe normaal’ for expressing a weird opinion, especially if that opinion is considered very non-Dutch. For example: suggesting that Santa is better at gift delivery than Sinterklaas.

The same applies if you are doing something very un-Dutch like wearing a cycle helmet while riding a bike.

A recent addition to the list of things-that-might-result-in-you-receiving-a-‘doe-normaal’ is sneezing out loud in a crowded place during a global pandemic.

Basically, it can be anything that the other person in the conversation deems weird, abnormal, embarrassing, unnecessary or rude behaviour. ‘Doe normaal’ might only be two words but it is often said with a level of annoyance that suggests it should be said with a lot more. It’s a way of saying:

• Stop doing that.
• You are annoying me and I would like you to stop.
• Stop being weird. You might not be embarrassed but I am.
• Behave yourself. Stop messing around. Stop being loud.
• Pull yourself together.
• Stop showing off.
• Stop breaking the rules.
• You’re not acting the way our society expects (blend in).
• Follow the Dutch way of acting.
• Stop going against the flow.

How to be ‘normal’ like the Dutch

So, to be normal like the Dutch it is just a simple case of being proud but not boastful, confident but not loud, calm but not boring. You have to be a leader without being pushy, creative without over complicating things, a nice person without being a push over. Most of all you have to act normal and sometimes that means acting crazy if the situation calls for it (like King’s Day).

Gek Genoeg

In short, the Dutch like things to be normal. They want everyone to behave appropriately and with the correct level of maturity for the given situation. They don’t want things to be more complex or difficult than they have to be and they want to approach situations with a level head.

However, maybe the Dutch are willing to accept that we are all a little weird. There is a longer version of the phrase that says, “Doe maar normaal, dan doe je al gek genoeg.”

“Just act normal, then you’re already acting crazy enough.”