The King Size King’s Day T-Shirt

“I got you a new King’s Day t-shirt,” my wife happily announced over the phone. She’d just returned from a shopping trip while I was still at work.

“That’s great. Thanks. My old one is falling apart,” I replied, because my old orange t-shirt really was in no condition for a royal celebration.

“I know. That’s why I got this one when I saw it… There is one thing though,” she added, “It say’s King Size on the front.”

I was not quite sure what to say to that. “Oh, okay.”

It wasn’t so much that I’d lost weight recently. It was more that I was wondering if a standard large size t-shirt declaring itself as King Size was false advertising. I was probably silent a bit longer than I should have been trying to work that one out. However, my thought process on the legal ramifications of the t-shirt were cut short.

“Oh. Wait a moment,” my wife suddenly exclaimed from the other end of the telephone line. “There is something I had not noticed.”

“What is it?” I asked.

“An arrow,” she announced.

“An arrow?”

“Pointing downwards.”

“Oh, okay,”

“I didn’t see it at first. It’s hidden amongst the letters. It’s quite suggestive now that I have noticed it,” she added. “I’ll send you a photo so you can see it for yourself.”

Can you see it? Hidden amongst the letters? The very suggestive arrow.

I felt my embarrassed Englishness kicking in. “Err… I don’t think I can wear that.”

She agreed and then joked, “I guess you could always wear it backwards.”

“And go from complimenting to insulting myself?”

“Good point,” she chuckled, “Maybe I should let you find a t-shirt yourself.”

—

Two days later I returned home to discover another t-shirt.

“I think it might be a ladies t-shirt actually,” my wife said as I held it up.

It was a bit tight. We agreed that I would definitely buy my own King’s Day t-shirt.