Adventures in Dutch Mispronunciation – Stuiterbal

“I think it’s funny the way bouncy balls are called naughty balls in Dutch,” I happily commented to my Dutch wife as we waited for our lunch to arrive.

“What?” she reacted in unexpected surprise.

We’d just been for a walk in a local nature reserve. After visiting the gift shop we’d decided to have lunch in the café next door. While we’d been in the gift shop our daughter had used her pocket money to buy a bouncy ball. It had confetti inside that swirled around and a light which lit up whenever it bounced. She was happily rolling it around our empty table. Our one year old son was busy playing peak-a-boo with a nearby elderly couple even though they were un-aware they had been drawn into his game.

“You know… Stouterbals.” I replied, pointing to the ball as it rolled by again.

“That’s not what they are called. What on earth made you think they were called Stouterbals?” she asked, trying not to laugh.

“Well… They bounce around everywhere and go places they should not. They are naughty balls.”

I suddenly became aware that I was repeatedly saying the phrase ‘naughty balls’ very loudly in a family friendly café and how that could be misinterpreted.

“It’s not called a Stouterbal?” I quickly added in a lower voice.

“No. It’s called a Stuiterbal,” she replied as if she expected my English ears to actually hear any difference between the word I had said and the one she had just said.

“But I thought Sophie was calling them stouterbals,” I replied, still whispering.

Our daughter looked up from her ball rolling and shook her head at my accusation. “Nee Papa. Het is stuiterbal,” she added loudly.

Again, I was unable to hear the difference between the two words even though I knew there must be one (based on their reactions). Even our son (who seemed to sense something was going on) had disengaged from his one sided game of peek-a-boo to listen.

To be fair my confusion had been added to by our daughter’s habit of calling anything that won’t cooperate with her naughty. When she can’t get her coat on it’s a stoute jas (naughty coat). When she accidently colours outside the lines it’s the fault of a stoute potlood (naughty pen). So when she had been calling after her stuiterbal to come back I thought she had been saying stouterbal (naught ball). Then I had heard stuiterbal elsewhere, been unable to hear the difference with stouterbal and thought it was the official name… Trust me. It makes perfect logical sense… I think.

“So what does Stouterbal…”

“Stuiter,” my wife quickly corrected.

“Yes, that one. What does that mean then?” I asked.

“The same as in English. Bouncy ball,” she replied.

That seemed slightly anticlimactic and unoriginal. Our children seemed to agree. Our daughter returned to her ball rolling and our son returned to his single player game of peek-a-boo.