Dreadfully Dutch Fake Facts – Part 3
1) There are two types of Dutch people. Those who wear clogs and those who don’t. They have a bitter rivalry.
2) Queen’s Day is the celebration of the life and work of 80’s singer Freddy Mercury and his fellow band members. The whole country joins together in singing such classic songs as; Bohemian Rhapsody, Don’t Stop Me Now, Fat Bottomed Girls and I Want To Ride My Bicycle. We miss you Freddy.
3) In order to comply with Dutch coffee shop regulations Star Bucks is legally obliged to sell you weed if you ask for it.
4) The wearing of orange during important Dutch celebrations is to ward off evil spirits who are afraid of the colour. No one likes to talk about the mass disappearances of people who were foolhardy enough to forgo wearing the protective colour during Queen’s Day or the European/World Cup.
5) Dutch mayonnaise is people.
6) Belgium is just a part of Holland the Dutch did not want any more.
7) The story of the little Dutch boy who put his finger in a leaking dyke to save his village is true. Sadly they were unable to repair the dyke and he is still there today. Although now he is referred to as the OAP with his finger in the dyke.
8) Elvis is alive and working at a Febo in Amsterdam.
9) Due to the sheer amount of weed present in Holland the entire country is constantly stoned from passive smoke.
10) The Dutch are deeply afraid of heights. Luckily their country is completely flat so this uncontrollable fear has never caused any problems.
11) No matter where you go in the world you will always bump into a Dutch family on Holiday. Neil Armstrong even encountered a Dutch family (Mr & Mrs Van De Leeuwen and their two children, Jan and Frits of Breda) upon arriving on the moon. However, Nasa still denies this ever happened.
Want to read more Dreadfully Dutch Fake Facts? Check out Part 4 of this list.
#DreadfullyDutchFakeFacts
Loved this list Stu, especially Starbucks required to sell weed, the Dutch not wanting Belgium anymore and the Van de Leeuwen family, lol. But I must confess that I don’t get the mayonnaise line…
Brilliant! “Dutch mayonnaise is people.”
Linda – Thank you. The mayonaise line is for all the nerds out there who have ever heard of the movie Soylent Green :p
Alison – You are clearly a nerd too :p
This all makes so much sense…. yes… good stuff ;-)
Lady in Red – Thank you. And it is all true of course *cough* :p
I don’t know where you get it from but you make me laugh every time I come on here!!! :)
The last point is so true. No matter where my partner and I go, we inevitably end up with a group of Dutch tourists chattering behind us. To hear that even the moon isn’t safe from the oranje folk is disheartening…
Oh, I am very much a nerd, and proud of it! :D
Am I the only one who doesn’t see Elvis in that photo? I guess I missed the gag…
Great stuff :)
Soylent Green – now there’s a classic begging for a remake. Though if the Dutch did it, would it be Soylent Oranje?
I can agree with the Dutch holiday-makers but too – The girlfriend and I were in Exeter visiting my parents for a week or so. Walking round town she hears another couple talking Dutch!
I wouldn’t be surprised if a tourist would actually ask for weed at a starbucks.
And it’s really hard as a dutch person to go on holliday where no dutch people are. ;)
Windmilltales – Thank you :)
Kelly M – Nowhere is safe :p
Alison – Good to hear it
Brandon – You’re not missing anything. I only put the link there because it was suggested to me that not everyone might be familiar with Febo.
Gez – I have to admit that I have never seen the film though.
Iooryz – If you succeed you are there with yourself… a Dutch person :p
Living inBelgium, as I do, I can only concur that it is the bit the Dutch may not have really wanted. or maybe the bit left over when they were drawing the map in.
Of course, the Dutch must have been stoned at the time, because who would want to leave all the beer and speculoos here?
“Dutch mayonnaise is people.” LOL. That would make it Soylent Orange then?
Opps. Guess I should read the other comments before I make my own. Gez had the same thought about Soylent…