Just One Beer

Just One Beer

Whenever someone suggests having ‘just one beer’ after a day at the office everyone knows that what they really mean is this; “Let’s start with just one beer and then proceed to drink more, much more.” The person who makes the suggestion of ‘just one beer’ might not even be aware of what they are really saying but they are saying it anyway.

It is not long before ‘just one beer’ turns into two beers, then three, four or five and eventually finishes with you stumbling home, falling asleep on your couch and spilling beer on yourself when you were attempting to watch repeats of Law and Order that you were far too drunk to follow the plot of anyway.

Despite this risk myself and a couple of work friends decided to go for ‘just one beer’ last Thursday evening after work. However, one member of our group wanted to go home instead. I tried to convince him that he should join us for ‘just one beer’ on the grounds that if he didn’t he was a pansy and not a real man. Despite my persuasive and logical argument (which lasted for several minutes) he was not convinced and returned home instead. The rest of us went for ‘just one beer’ at a local bar.

The following morning I over slept. I over slept quite badly. I had to phone someone at the office and ask them to let the rest of my department know I would be late. I phoned the person who had not gone for ‘just one drink’ with us. Considering I had called him a pansy the evening before this turned out to be a mistake. When I arrived at the office I discovered this email had been sent around the department:

email

“You could have just told them I over slept,” I told him after I read it.

“Did you really just over sleep?” He asked.

I paused for a second before replying, “Yes, I simply over slept…. because I forgot to set my alarm…. when I stumbled to bed…. after waking up on the couch…. because I spilt beer on myself.”

Law and Order is a very confusing show when you are inebriated.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

14 Responses

  1. Tommy says:

    Not going “for just one beer” is for pansies, it’s entirely true. Oversleeping due to the excessive consumption of ethanol is even manlier!

    I keep telling myself this…

  2. Tess says:

    Too funny! I remember being in similar situations but having only 3 hours of sleep and having to work the next day. So is ‘Eric’ reading your blog that you know of? in case I say something offensive and you’ll have an email in your inbox the next day… :9

  3. Invader Stu says:

    Tommy – That was my counter argument when I was hung over the next day.

    Tess – I sent Eric the link after I wrote it. He thought it was funny. He won’t mind if you take the micky out of him :p

  4. BlondebutBright says:

    Was that this past Thursday? You looked like you were in pretty good shape by the time I saw you Friday night – maybe that’s because you were drinking beer again. ;)

  5. Invader Stu says:

    BlondebutBright – I was lucky. My hang over had gone by the time we started the poker game. Although I kept on knocking over drinks by mistake all night (I did it again a short while after you left).

  6. ChickyBabe says:

    That’s soo funny! Reminds me when a group of us after a work function went for ‘one more drink’ and we ended up so plastered that none of us came to work the next day, including one of the directors who was out partying with us! Good times…

  7. Tenakalaz says:

    nobody, and I mean nobody does hangover like an invader hangover…

  8. Invader Stu says:

    ChickyBabe – It’s always good when one of the directors is out with you. That’s like getting permission to be in late the next day :p

    Tenakalaz – I’ve yet to meet a man, woman or child who can beat my hangovers.

  9. suus says:

    very funny :)

  10. VallyP says:

    Just remember Stu, what goes around comes around….now work that one out ;-)

  11. Invader Stu says:

    suus – Thanks

    VallyP – We are already both guilty of being in late to work for the same reasion.

  12. ChickyBabe says:

    Those guys used to drink us under the table! Fun times were had.

  13. Maikl says:

    I wonder if coming to work the next day and than falling asleep is better…

  14. Dragon lady says:

    I remember you trying to open the street door with a coin and me having to turn you on to your side every hour throughout the night so you wouldn’t choke if you were sick. That was followed by a doozy of a hangover