The Troubling Case of the Angry Frisian Swans

Living in a small village in the country side of Friesland has a lot of unexpected challenges. Life is not as easy as you might think. For example, I recently had an argument with a family of swans shortly after tending to an allotment. This is what life in Friesland has done to me.

My parents-in-law were away for a long weekend in Germany. They had asked my wife and I to water their allotment until they got back. On the Monday I had the day off so I decided to take a walk there with my son to do just that. Technically I was doing all of the walking since he was sitting in a buggy (due to a recently broken arm) but it’s easier to say we were on a walk together.

As we moved down the short gravel road leading to the allotment I spotted two Frisian swans swimming in the nearby stream with their two young, grey swan-lings. I pointed them out to my son who happily waved at them.

After a few moments of swan watching we carried on with the task at hand. On the allotment I watered the various tomatoes, cucumbers and other vegetables while my son watched the nearby butterflies. It didn’t take long and we were soon ready to leave again. We don’t live far from the allotment so the walk back would take less than ten minutes… normally. This time there was a small problem…

Trapped by a Bevy of Frisian Swans

As we tried to leave we discovered that the swans from earlier had moved out of the water. They were now occupying the gravel road that led to and from the allotment, the ‘only’ road that led to and from the allotment.

One of the swans was sitting a little off to the left side of the road with their two offspring. The other was keeping guard in the middle. My only option was to try and squeeze past them on the right… I quickly discovered that the swans did not agree that this was an option.

As soon as I started to approach with my son in his buggy both swans started to hiss at us very loudly. It was a very angry sound. The one guarding the road stepped towards us to meet (what it thought of as) our challenge. As it hissed it stretched its wings open wide in a display that said, “you wanna start something?!”

I quickly backed away. I didn’t fancy starting a fight with a swan. Especially since I’d probably lose. Even more importantly, the buggy meant my son was the one in front and he was at prime pecking height. I tried once more to squeeze past but was clearly told in no uncertain terms to back the f*** off.

We were trapped. The gravel road was the only way out. The swans were not going to let me anywhere near their young with my young. We were hostages.

There was no other way out. Behind us was only the allotment. We could retreat there, lock the gate and just live there I guess. We wouldn’t starve. We’d have an endless supply of vegetables. Although that probably wouldn’t have made my son very happy.

Escape from the Allotment

Five minutes passed. No one else came. The two Frisian swans kept a very close eye on us. My son giggled and pointed. The swans hissed. We backed up some more.

Another five minutes passed. The swans had calmed down a bit and sat closer to their young. I tried to slip past again and was immediately blocked by the same display of hissing and stretched wings. I tried to explain to the swan that I only wanted to pass. It hissed louder. We backed up some more.

Just when it seemed like we might be there forever a car appeared at the other end of the gravel road from around the corner. It was driving down the road towards the allotment’s small car park. The swans turned their attention from me to the new intruder. It’s an impressive sight to see a car stopped dead in its tracks by a swan, that is in the middle of the road, wings outstretched, hissing like it’s going to bite the head off the next person to annoy it.

I exchanged a few ‘what now’ glances with the driver. Neither of us knew what to do. After a few moments the driver decided to slowly start moving forward to see what happened. The swan did not agree with this decision. It angrily started to peck at the car. I think the only reason it eventually moved aside (allowing the car to pass) was in an attempt to find a weak spot that would let it get at the driver.

The argument with the car had created an opening. The two Frisian swans were now on the far left of the road. If I past on the right I could make it. As soon as the car was out of the way I briskly started to walk along the right side, pushing my son in his buggy. There was a loud hiss. We ran. Luckily, the now furiously angry swan only chased us for a moment. When I looked back it gave me a look that suggested it would go for my throat given half a chance.

I waved my thanks to the driver (now on the other side and still looking confused by what had just happened) and continued the journey home before we could be stopped by any other country side wildlife.

---

Read about my other strange encounter with Frisian Swans in The Curious Incident of The Frisian Swan.