Quote of the Week: Understanding

quote

The following takes place between the hours of 11pm and 12pm last Saturday night at a crowded night club somewhere in Amsterdam. Minimal alcohol was involved during the events you are about to read. The names of those involved have been changed to protect the not so bright.


Unknown Girl 1
(Nervously leaning over)
“Excuse me. Do you mind keeping my seat for me while I go to the…”

Irish Friend
(Suddenly interrupting, obviously having a little difficulty hearing her over the music)
“I’m sorry. I don’t understand Dutch… I’m a little dumb.”

Me
(Trying to fill the puzzled silence that followed)
“Yeah, you are kind of dumb. She’s speaking English.”

Sometime later:

Irish Friend
(Returning with two drinks and a puzzled look on his face)
“I don’t know what I just ordered.”

Me
(Jokingly but with detectable worry in my voice)
“I’m scared to find out.”

Unknown Girl 2
(Interjecting enthusiastically)
“I’ll drink it.”

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

15 Responses

  1. tenakalaz says:

    Minimal alcohol….. when is there ever Minimal alcohol where you are involved, and don’t forget I saw what was left of you on Sunday.

  2. Invader Stu says:

    I mean minimal at the point this happened. A few hours later is another story :p

  3. Indy says:

    What part of Amsterdamn? I miss their coffe-shops…

  4. Oli says:

    Where the unknown girls hot, you should have invited them to hang around a bit longer!

  5. Invader Stu says:

    Indy – We were in west Amsterdam at the time.

    Oli – Who said we didn’t.

  6. Rose says:

    Do share what happened a few hours later.

  7. Invader Stu says:

    Rose – It goes a little something like; chat, drink, dance, drink, dance drunk, drink, pass out on my couch at 5am.

  8. Ash says:

    Ohhh poor “Unknown Girls.” And your friend… and…

    yes, there was plenty of dumb to be had that night.

  9. VallyP says:

    oh no, not dumb, just the fun of random misheard comments. you should hear what my Koos thinks I’ve said sometimes – him being Dutch and all. It’s funnier than the goon show…if anyone of you kiddies knows who they are ;-)

  10. ChickyBabe says:

    Sounds like a good night. Before a hangover!

    PS Is Tenakalaz your alter ego?

  11. Tess says:

    Did these ‘not so bright’, by any chance, indulged themselves earlier that evening in the pleasure of spongy chocolate sweetness with the odd extra ingredient which you mentioned in a previous post? It sounds like they were on a different planet… ;)

  12. Invader Stu says:

    VallyP – I’ve never seen them but I know the name

    ChickyBabe – Yes, he is my split personality but for financial reasons I tell everyone he is my flat mate.

    Tess – That’s what makes it even funnier. There was nothing like that involved.

  13. Ulsurp says:

    Out of curiosity, could you tell whether the two people were speaking English natively or not? What I mean is, were they Dutch or not Dutch, (if you could tell)?

  14. Invader Stu says:

    Ulsurp – We found out that the first one we spoke to was Finish. We did not get to talk to the second one as much but I am guessing she was Dutch.

  15. Tenakalaz says:

    Queens day approaches……… I am afraid of being anywhere near you with that much alcohol and that many people around, its a recipe for disaster……..

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