Live Blogging – Listening to a Neighbors Movie

Neighbors Movie

This is a completely improvised, written as it happens blog post. I’ve never done one of these before so it is a bit of an experiment. I am currently sitting in the front room of a friend’s house in Amsterdam. He’s not here. He’s in Australia. Don’t worry. I’ve not broken in. I’m house sitting for him. It is 11:45 at night. My girlfriend is asleep downstairs and for the last 15 minutes I have been listening to someone in the street watching a very loud movie while I try to write another not so improvised blog post.

At least I assume they are watching a movie. Maybe they are just having a shoot-out/car chase/military incursion going on in their living room. Either way I have become too intrigued in trying to work out what movie they are watching to write what I was originally writing.

I’ve not worked out much about the movie so far but the plot seems to be something along the lines of; “Argh!” Bang! Bang! “Go, go, go!” Bang! Bang! “We have a situation here.” Bang! “Argh! Go, go, go!”

In fact, for the last 15 minutes someone in the movie has been shouting “go, go, go” every few seconds. It must be a very exciting action movie or they really have to go somewhere. Maybe they are very late for a meeting.

I think someone just gave a motivational speech but it’s hard to make out the words. The music was very motivational though and there was a lot of cheering at the end. Could it be Brave Heart? There was a very motivational speech in that movie. Were there any shoot-outs or car chases in Brave Heart? I’ve not seen it.

No wait… That was a roar. I just heard a roar. It must be a monster movie. That or I just heard a drunk tourist in the street… No, I think it is definitely a monster movie. Maybe dinosaurs if I had to make an educated guess.

Someone is shouting “go, go, go” again. They must be really late for that appointment.

I could swear I just heard the voice of Jar-Jar? It’s hard to tell above all the gun fire and screaming. It could have been Shawn Connery. Were they ever in a movie together? Maybe some kind of buddy cop movie?

There was a loud crash but that was not the movie. Someone just fell off their bike in the street.

Now I hear emotional music. I think someone just died. I hope it was Jar-Jar and not Shawn Connery.

And now a car alarm has been going off for the last 10 minutes. There is no way of me knowing how the Brave-Heart-Buddy-Cop-Late-For-Meeting-Monster-Movie ends now. It will be a mystery that will go forever unanswered and torment me till my grave. At least they were nice enough to let me and the rest of the street hear their movie.

I bid you all goodnight.

(Posted at 1:00am. This is what happens when I try to write when I should be sleeping)

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

26 Responses

  1. Dragonlady says:

    I hope it wasn’t Ja Ja Binks that died but I can’t stand Sean Connery.

  2. Wendi says:

    This post was just like being on the phone with you and not being able to respond to anything until you finished. Kind of like talking to my sister.

  3. Invader Stu says:

    Dragonlady – Most Star Wars fans would disagree with you.

    Wendi – Best. Endorsement. Ever! I might have to put that on the main page: Invading Holland – It’s like being on the phone with Wendi Aarons’ Sister.

  4. Just a Plane Ride Away says:

    That’s a lot of action in one night. No wonder your friend had to escape to Australia!

  5. julia says:

    I love that movie. Your experience makes me think of when we pull alongside of someone who is listening to their music very loudly in their car. All you hear is “boom boom” and not much else (I guess those types of songs don’t have words). My husband then says “I love that song”.

  6. Invader Stu says:

    Just a Plane Ride Away – Hhhmmm… you just gave me a thought. Maybe it was a SWAT team going house to house looking for him.

    Julia – I like your husband’s seance of humour :)

  7. belle says:

    Excellent post! You should housesit, audio-witness movies and then improvise your posts more often ;)

  8. Invader_Stu says:

    Belle – Which movie would you like me to try it with first? :p

  9. French Bean says:

    101 Dalmatians. I’d like to know how Glenn Close’s evil garbled laugh sounds like through the walls.

  10. Andrew says:

    Toy Story 3.. then we can find out if the neighbour has a soul at all (to cry out) or not..

  11. VallyP says:

    Well for a stream of consciousness piece, it was the most entertaining literature I’ve read for a long time. Cool Stu, do it again!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.