Speculaas Addiction

Speculoos

Hello. My name is Stuart and I’m an addict…

For a while now I’ve been trying to keep my problem a secret from everyone I know and love. I guess the reality is that I was trying to avoid acknowledging that I even ‘had’ a problem. As if hiding my addiction from the outside world meant the addiction itself didn’t really exist.

However, things have gotten worse recently and I am unable to control my addiction any longer. I feel the uncontrollable cravings getting stronger all of the time. I need it. I can’t function without it any more. It is time to admit that I am hopelessly addicted to Speculaas sandwich spread.

Speculaas Withdrawal

I can’t help myself. I have only just discovered the stuff but it is so delicious. If it was not for Holland’s tolerance of certain addictive substances I’m sure Speculaas sandwich spread would already have been classified as a class A drug and made illegal. It’s the only way to explain my uncontrollable need to frantically lick the jar and my fingers clean whenever my supply has almost run out.

I’ve tried to get myself clean but there is no hope of me achieving this impossible goal. Every time I walk past the breakfast goods section in the Albert Heijn the Speculaas calls out to me. Before I know it I am rushing to the checkout with an arm load of jars which I take home and hide around the house in case there is a sudden intervention.

Speculaas/Speculoos

Speculaas sandwich spread actually comes from Speculaas cookies which are traditionally available during Sinterklaas (but are now available all year round). In Belgium it is known as Speculoos, which means the Dutch and Belgium enjoy a lot of time arguing over spelling. The cookies themselves are also very addictive but when they are crushed down in to their purist crumb form and (through a special process) turned into sandwich spread they become a hundred times more addictive. The cookies are just a gateway snack to the truly addictive sandwich spread. I honestly cannot convey to you how addicted I am to the stuff.

My addiction is so bad that I even tried to make Speculaas sandwiches between two Speculaas cookies instead of bread. I nearly ODed but it was worth it.

Speculaas Sandwich

I don’t usually endorse destructive or damaging behaviour but if you can find a Speculaas sandwich spread provider you should try some. It’s worth the uncontrollable addiction to its amazing taste.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

33 Responses

  1. Marie-Claude says:

    I started reading your blog recently and never commented. But this time, I just have to comment: I am an addict too. This stuff is just WAY too delicious, it should be forbidden. And they now have a ‘crunchy’ version too!!!! ARRRGGGHHH!!!!!

  2. Invader Stu says:

    Marie-Claude – Crunchy version? that’s it. My life as I know it is over. Thanks for you comment :)

  3. Lizzy says:

    Oh my God, I can’t contain myself around Speculoos spread either. I actually started eating it straight from the jar with a spoon the last time I bought some. I saw an add for the crunchy kind recently, but it hasn’t shown up in any of my neighborhood grocery stores yet. Where is it? I need it lol. By the way, have you gotten addicted to chocolate covered kruidnoten yet? We tried the Bolletje “truffle” kind yesterday and we already ate the whole bag. Send help!

  4. Melissa P says:

    How are you going to be able to do stand up, when your mouth will be full of speculoos and cookies?

  5. Invader Stu says:

    Lizzy – I’ll admit that I have also eaten just the spread by itself. And my girlfriend brought chocolate covered kruidnoten home the other night… let’s just say I eat so much that I made myself sick that night.

    Melissa P – I have no idea. My mouth will most likly be glued shut with the stuff and I’ll be forced to mime.

  6. Alison says:

    I’ve been eating the speculaas loaf filled with almond butter quite a bit this season, but I didn’t know about the speculoos spread. Oh dear. Must avoid that aisle.

  7. Invader Stu says:

    Alison – No, give into the temptation that is speculoos spread. Join us.

  8. Dykam says:

    Speculoos… speculaas does taste better.

    Hmm, I buy my stuff at the Albert Heijn… you spelled it wrong :D.

  9. Anneke says:

    Ugh, you actually LIKE speculoos? *insert sounds of utter disbelief* I really hate the stuff, I think it’s gross. Hmm maybe I should be someones sponsor? Or can only recovered addicts be sponsors?

  10. zed says:

    It’s way too sweet for me – I consider myself sweet enough already.

  11. Anita says:

    I will read the label with the list of ingredients on this thing. Seems to be something very processed. I better never start with it. Probably there are zillions of calories. Gross !

  12. Invader Stu says:

    I never seen one of my post polarize my readers so much between who likes something and who does not. Hehe

    Dykam – Thanks for letting me. I’m going to fix that.

    Anneke – Either way I’ll invite you to the intervention if you like.

    Zed – You got that right.

    Anita – Sometimes it’s just better not to know.

  13. Wezz6400 says:

    Speculoos? Sandwitch spread? Ugh, kids these days…

    While you were wasting your life eating nothing but crap on your sandwitch we’ve enjoying the great taste of speculaas and bread the way it’s supposed to be: sweetness which crushes your teeth, if they haven’t been knocked out by the crunchyness of a wrecking ball. The recepy is quite simpel: take two slices of bread, butter them, put two speculaas cookies on one, put the other slice on top, cut in half, and munch! If you’re up to it that is… Speculoos, mumble mumble the good old days mumble mumble.

  14. Invader Stu says:

    Wezz6400 – Yeah, yeah granddad :p

    I guess in the interest of cultural relations I do have to give it a try :p

  15. suus says:

    speculoos? Never heard of it. I know the cookies. I am going to try it, because I am a dare devil who just tries everything repulsive and lethal.