Frisian Independence

Frisian Independence

Dear people of Holland,

As you know I successfully declared myself the king of your country sometime ago. This happened when I put up flyers around Amsterdam announcing the news and no one objected (thus making it official). It has been sometime since my last royal update so allow me to issue the following news.

It has been over half a year since I relocated my royal residence to Friesland (from the royal apartment of Rotterdam). Having spent some time among the Frisian people and getting to know their culture I have decided to grant them full independence from the rest of The Netherlands. I will not (as one of my Dutch subjects suggested) be ‘selling them to Germany’.

This plan means that the province of Friesland will become its own independent country free of Dutch control. Luckily Friesland already has its own flag, language and national anthem so they are already half way there. In order to achieve full Frisian Independence I will be making the following changes over the next few months.

Steps towards Frisian Independence:

1) Frisian will be added to Google Translate (Done).

2) Orange will remain the national colour of Friesland but it will be a slightly different shade of orange from the Dutch.

3) Dutch people within Friesland will now be considered ‘expats’ or ‘tourists’.

4) Border control will be set up between Friesland and The Netherlands.

5) Frisian passports will be issued to all residence of Friesland.

6) Canal jumping will be made an official Olympic sport.

7) Friesland will be represented by its own football team in the European and World Cup.

8) A Frisian edition of the Euro will be created featuring proud Frisian heritage such as; a Friesian horse, carbidschieten and a slow moving tractor.

9) A Frisian representative will be added to the UN.

10) Frisian embassies will be set up in all the major cities of the world.

11) Sloten will be declared the new capital of Friesland.

12) All websites hosted in Friesland will now end with ‘.fr’. Since this designation already belongs to France negotiations will be opened for them to change theirs.

13) A national Friesland day will be created.

14) The name ‘Friesland’ will be changed to ‘The Independent and Glorious Country of Fryslân’.

Stuart

Stuart is an accident prone Englishman who has been living in the Netherlands since 2001. Even his move to the country was an unintentional accident, the result of replying to a cryptic job advertisement he found one day in a local British magazine. Since then he has learned to love the Dutch (so much so that he married one of them) and now calls the country home. He started the blog Invading Holland in 2006 as a place to share his strange stories of language misunderstandings, cultural confusions and his own accident prone nature.

15 Responses

  1. Johan E says:

    Hoorah! At last! Goodbye & good riddens :-)

    I particularly like item 4): “Boarder control”. That’s going to be similar to when you want to board an aircraft?

  2. AstridQK says:

    Since you declared Friesland as an independent country and you reside there. You therefore will be dethroned as the king of the Netherlands and crowned king of Friesland. Everybody outside of Friesland again swears allegiance to king Willem Alexander. If you do not agree to this, please contact the national treasurer or the cabinet. Everybody happy 😊

  3. *eyes narrow at the .fr website designation*

    Might I suggest, on behalf of the French, that the corresponding Frisian address be .frl ?

    Also: does this mean that I am now also the Minister of Transport for Friesland, or should I just focus on the Netherlands?

  4. inge says:

    Will there be a Friexit? And don’t forget to mention speedskating and Friesland’s hero Greate Pyr on the new Euro’s! For your own sake and health: remember the fate of that other Brit in Friesland: Bonifacius!! (Exeter 672-Dokkum 754)
    Anyway, Friesland Boppe.

    • Invader_Stu says:

      There will be a Friexit from The Netherlands but I’ll leave it up to them what they want to do about the EU.

      Good point about the Euro as well. Thanks.

  5. Yorrick says:

    3.) They already are, no matter how long you have lived there already.
    Mmh that will also mean the Frisians will want to annex Amsterdam since more than 50% of the inhabitans of that city is of Frisian descent (at least according to Friesian professor (whose name I can’t recall atm) )

    4.) A very old joke amongst Groningers: Did you know, The Netherlands will getting a new Zoo? No, where? They are going to raise a fence around Friesland.

    5.) Frisian passports can be bought for €5 at bookstores (Saw them at a bookstore in Leeuwarden)

    11.) That might be cause for a Friesian civil war though, since Leeuwarden (the traditionally and ancient capital of Friesland) will not surrender that title without a fight.

    12.) On September 1, 2014 .frl the Internet top-level domain for Friesland was established. On September 2 is the first .frl domain nic.frl went online.
    see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.frl

    13.) There already is. It used to be celebrated annually on September 26 until the 16th century, than it moved to the last Saturday of September It is the commemoration of the battle of Warns, where the Frisians beat the Hollanders in 1345.

    14.) Nah that is to long you should know by now that the Friesians are very economical with words, “Fryslan boppe” will be enough.

  6. dragonlady says:

    Ah but have you put up flyers in Friesland to give the people a chance to object to you becoming their king?

  7. Berber says:

    I’m sorry. I’m sure ur very nice and all that but no more White king of the Netherlands.. Never Dutch king of Frisians, never. They think they can take and ‘have’ but for real was never theirs.

  8. Berber says:

    Also pls tell Dutch. Fuck them, they can keep their gold. And: no making fun of minorities. No making fun of dead. Combined is even worse, nobody Ive heard of has ever had so little respect to do. Making fun of first two only do because they is Pussy. Tell Dutch: make fun of Putin, , of Americans, of Mexican gangsters, the Chinese Empire, and of all they shit there pants of when coming across. No make fun of minorities, how dare they.

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