Declaring Myself As The New Dutch King
People of Holland!
Upon this day I, Stuart, would like to officially announce my successful invasion of Holland and the installation of myself as your new leader and ruler.
Do not be afraid. Although this new development might sound quite alarming at first please remain calm and give it a moment to sink in.
The invasion was successfully completed yesterday when I put up some flyers announcing myself as Holland’s new ruler and no one objected.
I promise to be a just and fair ruler, a nurturing and caring leader, the kind you can invite around for tea with your ‘oma’. I promise to keep the changes to your daily life minimal. All I ask is that you refer to me as ‘King Stuart’ if we ever pass each other in the street. I also ask that you be nice to each other and don’t play your music too loudly when travelling on the public transport.
I know that I might not be a true Dutchman. I know that I might not have been born and raised amongst the windmills and tulips. I know that I might only have the Dutch language skills of a five year old but I am a true and proud ginger, a fact which makes me as orange as anyone else from this, soon to be great, country. I also eat stampot once and found it ‘lekker’.
I will be ruling the country from my apartment in Rotterdam where all important decisions about the countries future will be made over a cup of hot coco (with a biscuit). However, I cannot work on Saturday’s because it’s my turn to tidy the apartment and do the shopping so you’ll have to look after yourselves on that day.
If there is anything that you would like to see changed as I lead Holland to a bright and bold new future please send me your ideas and I’ll see what I can do about them. Unless of course it is a complaint about me as your new leader. Then I’ll most likely ignore it.
Groetjes
– King Stuart
I think I should put a tent in Amsterdam train station and finally see “our new king”. I think I take some flowers (in this case they should be plastic ones because I do not know when I will be so lucky to meet; otherwise “it’s too expensive” as dutch say…. )
As our new King is an invader our life soon will be much easier. The most important : to forbid circle parties. The rest we will manage :D
P.S. I like the idea about Albert Heijn, only I think this is necessary for all supermarkets:)
Humble Servant – Hhhmmmm. I’ll think about it. If they were gone I would not be able to make fun of them.
Rasa – I will keep an eye out for a tent in the train station and say hallo :)