Awfully British Fake Facts – Festive Edition
1) Christmas lights blink out secret festive messages in Morse code when no one is looking.
2) Presents are placed under the Christmas tree where the squirrels who live there can protect them.
3) Santa’s naughty list is known as the most historically accurate document in existence. It contains the true identity of who committed every crime, who started every war and who’s been stealing milk from the office fridge for the last few weeks.
4) Christmas cracker jokes are intentionally bad because your groans give sustenance to the mischievous elves who wrote them.
5) Each Christmas the British Queen gives a televised speech. No one has ever watched it. If they had they would know it’s actually a karaoke sing-a-long in which she leads the nation in renditions of such hits as Wham’s ‘Last Christmas’.
6) In 2017 an inquiry investigated the possibility of Russian interference with Santa’s naughty list. Unsurprisingly, everyone who had tried to interfere with the list was discovered to be on the list.
7) Charles Dickens was a fictional character but Ebeneezer Scrooge was a real person.
8) Santa stopped giving out coal to naughty children in 2012 in an attempt to reduce his carbon footprint.
9) In recent years, Santa’s elves have had to learn programming to make all the computer games that children request.
10) Tinsel was accidentally invented in the 80s when someone unintentionally dropped a roll of tin foil into a shredder.
11) British people traditionally eat turkey on Christmas day because it is illegal to do so any other day of the year.
12) Santa and Sinterklaas are brothers.
13) Ugly Christmas sweaters are worn to scare away evil spirits.
14) The most popular Christmas gifts given in England are tea and a firm handshake.
Want to read more? Check out some Dreadfully Dutch Fake Facts.
